If your horse injured his leg so badly he could barely walk, and you suspect he has cracked a rib, dislocated his shoulder and sprained his knee, but he says, “No vet.” Would you listen to your horse?
I find myself yet again at that place where SO much has happened and time has moved into warp speed, that about ten stories – big stories – have happened in the space of (can it only be??) a week or two… And how to sort it all out? How to decide what to tell and what to leave out… otherwise a post turns into a chapbook…
So logistics first: Makah-Mahpee arrived on the same day as Cobra. Cobra was in with the herd within 20 minutes flat. Makah was castrated, then gradually eased into the herd and doing well. A bit defiant when asked to move, but the herd seemed to know he was still healing and took it easy on him, so all was working out.
Until Makah’s herdmates, Siyone (See-yo-neigh) and baby Posa, arrived.
Güliz and I had driven my brand new trailer up to Squamish in the pouring rain. I figured we’d unhitch and leave it there so the wildies could get used to it, practice going in and out of it, and when they were fluent and comfortable, we’d go back and trailer them down.
Of course, knowing there was the possibility they would get on that same day, Güliz and I had worked like dogs rearranging the paddock/barn and sectioning off the field, just in case. This was in addition to all the logistics of adjusting to the two new herd members who’d arrived two weeks ago (Cobra and Makah). We were both physically exhausted from all the lifting, carrying, fencing etc we’d had to do. Güliz’s arms were so sore one night, she had to ask her Dad to slice a loaf of bread for her!
My family and my business were feeling the squeeze of this huge increase in workload. My husband and my mum were doing all the driving for our kids. Business meetings were happening without me, phone calls weren’t being returned promptly. I was spending only 1/4 of my usual time with my hubby Ian and generally felt like I ran around from urgent task to important task, all day long, playing catch-up.
Meanwhile back at Cheekye Ranch
So we drove the horse trailer up to Cheekye Ranch in Squamish and Kris wanted to see if the mares and foals would get on my ginormous trailer. It was pouring rain and the mares were nearly finished their lunch ration of hay. I figured there was no way anyone was getting on the new, scary trailer that day. Did I mention that I had hired a hauler with a 5-horse trailer the week before to bring them down to me, and they all refused to get on?
Well lo and behold, Siyone and Posa loaded calmly in 30 minutes, standing quietly as the center gate was closed. Keep in mind, these are wild mustangs who have never been haltered and if you pressure them to load, they may blow through a fence, or climb an arena panel (Kaliah did both during the very first trailer attempt).
Kris waited to see if Kaliah and Xadaa would get on too, but they showed no interest, so we drove off for the 3-hour journey back home in the rain.
As we reached home and drove down the barn road, Makah caught sight of Siyone in the trailer (my trailer has 3 rows of open slats so everything is very visible) and they began whinnying to each other. Oh the joy! The excitement! The entire herd was running back and forth, straining to see, wanting to be the first to glimpse the newcomers.
By the time we unloaded Siyone and Posa, Makah had disappeared. After getting the new girls settled, we went looking for him and found him shivering, just inside the woods at the back of the field. As I drew closer to his wild eyes, the first thing I noticed was his knee looked swollen. Then he tried to move away from us and we both gasped – his right shoulder looked dislocated and the entire leg dangled uselessly. He could barely move it and could put no weight on it at all.
We had to get him up to the barn in case we needed to call the vet, and to protect him from getting hurt further by one of the other horses. But as he was about 400 feet from the barn, we needed to put the herd somewhere they couldn’t interfere and send him careening back to the woods. We tried luring them with feed and got Juno, Aude and Jax locked up in the front section. Then we haltered Montaro and Zorra to lead them over. Montaro protested from the beginning that he needed to stay beside the paddock to keep watch over the new arrivals, but I overruled him. I was exhausted, cold, and my boots had leaked an hour ago as the rain continued to pelt us.
We got about 3/4 of the way to the front section and Montaro strongly protested my decision. He was getting more and more irate, pulling and pivoting away, pawing the ground, tossing his head. He said, “I won’t hurt you, but I’m telling you as strongly as I can, that you need to let me go. I won’t interfere, but you may need me to help you drive Makah in. And I must keep watch over the mare and foal!”
Our relationship flashed before me and all the close-call, scary situations we’d been in over the last 2 years… had trusting him ever been a bad decision? No. So I let him go and he instantly ran back to Siyone and Posa. I told Güliz to let Zorra go too as she would not threaten Makah and it would not be a good idea to put her in with Aude and Jax who were now very irate and clanging their hooves on the arena panels penning them in.
We gathered 2 quirts/whips, some alfalfa and a feed dish and ran back to Makah. I explained to him what we were asking him to do and why, and that he was going to have to hop all the way to the barn. I hopped on one leg to show him what I meant and also to encourage him that if I could do it, he could too!
Then I positioned myself behind him and said, “Remember how useful adrenalin is? You used it to fight off the sedation for 2 days before the vet could castrate you! So you’re gonna bring that forth again and it’s going to get you to the barn.” I brought up my own energy and wiggled the quirt saying, “Hup, hup, hup!” He tried to veer off to the left but Güliz closed his access using her quirt (and extending her energy) like a fence rail, while I pressed him forward. After 5 hops, we stopped to let him rest and gave him a mouthful of feed while we praised him. Then we asked him to move forward again, sending pictures of him resting, warm and dry, with lots of hay, inside the barn.
This wild mustang, who had only been with us for a couple of weeks – during which time we had cut off his testicles and imprisoned him – fought through his pain and fear to trust us yet again. I was exceedingly grateful that we didn’t need to use much pressure to get him to the barn and thus (hopefully) avoided re-traumatizing him after all the man-handling of his castration.
We now had Makah penned up in the barn by himself again. I took some video of how he was moving and sent it to Ainsley Beauchamp (our equine chiropractor). I also consulted with Güliz as to her assessment (she is an Equi-bow practitioner). And Güliz also found this video of a horse with almost identical movement issues, where the vet said the only thing that could be done was to get him to move every day – and the horse eventually made a complete recovery.
If I called the vet out, he would likely want to palpate the leg, shoulder, etc. That would mean another 3-4 hours of trauma for Makah: blow-dart sedation, being lassoed, getting a halter on him, touching him against his will and causing a lot of pain. If the vet didn’t want to palpate or physically touch him, then his advice would likely be commonsense; let him rest, make sure he gets movement, keep an eye on it, and administer anti-inflammatory and pain meds.
So I did what I always do when one of my animals or children gets hurt. I asked Makah what he wanted me to do…? I acknowledged that he is in charge of his body and his healing and that I am here to assist in any way he wants. And yes, sometimes that means I do step in – because healing is rarely linear, and sometimes stubbornness gets involved, or surrender may be an important part of the process. But the over-arcing directive is that each of us needs to have authority over our own body. And each of us can access our own body wisdom to heal ourselves.
“No vet,” said Makah. As he stood there shaking and spasming, unable to put an ounce of weight on his leg, his right shoulder noticeably out of alignment with the left.
Meanwhile, Güliz was quietly freaking out. Having just lost her dog to a serious illness, fear was in the driver’s seat. But she was also able to stay in observation, to take a step back and ponder.
“It comes down to one question: Do you believe he can heal himself?” I asked, “Do you believe you can heal yourself?”
“I’ve seen one of my teachers move bone, using only energy,” she replied, “So I know it can be done. I know he can heal himself. But in the heat of the moment, it’s interesting how my default is to call the vet, and how strong that is!”
This is the legacy of our med/pharma system of disease-management (notice I didn’t say ‘healthcare’). Fortunately, through my own journey of healing myself of a supposedly incurable disease, I am very comfortable keeping med/vet care as an option, but I have a huge toolkit of holistic healing options I can try first. Along with a rock-solid belief that true healing comes from within; because the body heals itself, we just give it the tools.
By this time it was dark, so Güliz made Makah a bed of hay to lie down on. I gave him a feed dish with his vitamin/mineral pellets, flax, kelp and a ton of magnesium to relax the muscle spasming – he ate all of it. We left him with fresh water and 2 slow feeders filled with hay, and called it a day.
The next day dawned warm and sunny and Güliz did a session with Makah where she used a hologram healing technique with him, he changed positions to show her different things, and then requested she cross-link the quadrants of his body to restore proper communication. Guliz suspected he may have bruised or cracked a rib, along with a shoulder and knee injury. I had brought some herbs for him, but he didn’t want any – just magnesium and his usual supplements.
Meanwhile, I had been asking the herd, “What happened to Makah, how did he get injured?” Montaro told me, “I warned him twice, but he didn’t listen.” I thought this meant that he was pressing forward to reach Siyone in his excitement, or overrunning Montaro’s leadership, so Montaro kicked him.
This led me back to something I had noticed about Makah previously: his defiance. So I began an EFT Tapping session with him around ‘defiance’. What is it, where did it come from, what are the roots, how is it serving or not serving him? At the same time, I was asking, “Which of the humans at this barn has an issue with defiance?” Because horses are multi-taskers. I have never seen a horse get injured for only 1 reason! And then there is this:
Güliz identified with that issue (defiance) so then we brought her into the session for a deeper link into all the aspects involved. One of the big roots that came up was that Makah’s spirit/soul self was very strong and powerful, yet he hasn’t integrated that power through all the layers to his physical, incarnated self (yet). So he was still operating from that spirit-self, which was inappropriate (and actually incongruent) with his current physical self.
The 3rd day he was very stiff (as is usual after an injury), he still couldn’t put any weight on his leg, but his shoulders now looked even and balanced. I opened the barn so he could come in to join Siyone and Posa – who he hadn’t seen for two and a half weeks. However, I stayed nearby so I could intervene in case Siyone went after him, or showed aggression. She drove him away from her feeder if he came too close, but nothing too aggressive. Within half an hour, Makah and baby Posa were sharing a feeder together. After a couple hours I felt safe leaving them together unsupervised and he was already moving a bit better from being forced to move and walk around. He again refused any herbs.
The 4th day, my 15-year-old daughter Zara came out to work on Makah. Zara apprenticed for a summer with an equine bodyworker/energy healer (Jen Snow) and had already facilitated some pretty miraculous healing for various horses and dogs. Zara asked me, “Was it raining the day he was injured?”
“Yes,” I said, “it was pouring!”
“He told me he wiped out,” she said, “No one kicked him, he just went down hard because he slipped. Montaro warned him it was slippery, but he didn’t listen, he was too excited.” She also said the main problem was his knee, not his shoulder.
That same day, my 12-year-old son, Hugo was at the barn. He was shocked by Makah’s hobbling and struggle to move. “Is he going to be okay, or is he going to die?” Hugo asked me.
“Why don’t you ask him?” I suggested.
Hugo faced Makah and went quiet for a few minutes, then he picked up the manure fork and went back to work. “What did he say?” I asked.
“He’s a powerful horse,” Hugo said, “he’s going to heal himself. Did you know he’s a Spirit Horse?” By the time we left, Makah was still having great difficulty walking, but he was now standing with his full weight on his injured right front leg:
Another very interesting thing that happened on this same day: Before we came to the barn, Hugo had just had a hypnotherapy session with Jen Snow, to work on increasing his flow/performance on the soccer field. As we were hugging goodbye, Jen asked me, “Is one of your new horses black, with a baby?”
“Yes!” I said, “that’s Kaliah and her filly Xadaa. They’re still up in Squamish.”
“Ah, well she came to me last night,” Jen said, “She showed me an old injury on her right hind, lower leg, above the fetlock. Maybe something had gone through her leg at some point. She asked me to heal it. So I did.”
I remembered when Kaliah and the herd first arrived at Squamish, that Kris had pointed out some scarring on one of her legs, but I couldn’t remember which one, so I messaged Kris to find out. She texted back, “her back right fetlock/coronet… scarring looked old though.”
It jarred me back to the reminder that, oh yes, right, these aren’t just horses. They are spiritual beings, incarnated in horse form. So although I am swamped by logistics and practicalities and questions… remember…
By the 5th day, Makah finally asked for some herbs with his feed. He requested comfrey (which I had been dying to give him!), blessed thistle and hawthorn. He flat out refused echinacea and a few others I suggested. I also didn’t feel led to give him turmeric; which many like to give as an anti-inflammatory. I hold a different view of acute inflammation – I see it as a valuable healing aid (like the body uses fever to kill pathogens, or mucus to trap and clear out a cold virus) so I didn’t want to suppress it.
“Inflammation sends an inflow of healing products (interleukins and other blood-transported cells and proteins that initiate repair) to the damaged structure.” – Bob Grisel DVM Hoschton, Georgia
When I administer herbs, I begin by scooping a herb out of the bag and pouring it into his feed dish, in my mind I say to Makah, “Tell me when to stop…” When I feel, “stop” or “that’s enough” I stop. Sometimes I slow down because I think that’s quite a lot and I’ll hear/feel, “Keep going…”
Makah had herbs (comfrey every time – yay!) in his feed dish for the next week, along with very high doses of magnesium. Sometimes he asked me to put some oat grain on top to help him get the magnesium down. I do not feed grain, but Kris had been using it to help her get close to the horses at Cheekye. So when Makah was castrated, I bought some oat grain so we had something he would eat, to be able to administer an oral sedative on the second day.
During that first week after his injury, I did five EFT Tapping sessions for Makah. In every session, someone else joined in with the same issue/need for healing. For one session it was Cobra, for two of the sessions it was me. One night, I was awakened at 4 a.m. feeling very strongly that there was an important piece/message from Makah that I was missing. Remember, when we receive the message, the body can release the illness, or injury.
I had been venting with Güliz earlier: “Why does he have to injure himself to get messages across?? I’m not a doorknob, he could just come to me in my dreams or something!” She replied, “I don’t think he knows how to do that yet, it’s like he’s still figuring out how to operate in this form.” Her insight tied in perfectly with the aspect that came up during the first Tapping session, where I realized he was this powerful spirit/soul, but hadn’t yet brought that down through the layers and integrated into his physical, carnate self.
There’s power in numbers…
So when I woke up at 4 a.m. feeling like he was trying to get a message to me, I grabbed a deck of Energy Oracle cards. As I shuffled the cards, I repeated, “Message from Makah, message from Makah…” He got me to draw two cards (very unusual for me) and the message that popped from the first card #26 was:
“Now is the time to regain control. Allowing dishonoring treatment from others is an open invitation to the Universe to send you more. You need to have the courage to stand up for yourself now and always.”
The second card was #35:
“Stability and security: You are capable of taking action and moving forward on your path. So allow yourself to feel increasing faith in your own power and security, now and always.”
The third thing that just jumped out at me, was that the number on each card (numerology) added up to the number 8. A google search (sorry can’t find the source – I just took screenshots of it) revealed this text that had particular meaning for me:
“The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.” – Eric Fromm
8 tells us to look at what we’ve got and appreciate it. To appreciate means to understand the value or magnitude of something. And what we’ve got is this monotonous cradle-to-the-grave-cookie-cutter existence which cannot possibly be what life is all about. We haven’t even begun to recognize our own powers as human beings, let alone tap into them. We have been asleep to our own personal power because we’ve been so tied up in this feelingless system in which we give our power to others for the sake of what we are told is our own security.
Denial has taken such a hold on Earth that we have had to bring ourselves to the edge of extinction in order to realize how ignorant and misinformed we have been about so many things. 8 is the most powerful energy we have when it come to discovering the truth and taking appropriate action. The overall understanding of humanity is increasing now. A massive shift in consciousness is occurring, visibly and measurably, one individual at at time.”
As I put all these pieces together, in light of this journey that began way back when I heard, “There’s a black horse missing” I realized: I am the herd leader! I need to sit above Montaro. I’ve been trusting him to be wise and to act in a balanced, stable, secure manner. And he has, but within the nature of the horse. What’s needed here is organizational wisdom to manage this human, contrived process – none of which would naturally occur in the horse realm. So I need to step up and move into full power as the top herd leader to manage this process with maximum effectiveness.
This kicked me out of my position of waiting and watching to see what the horses meant by all of this; waiting to discern what they had in mind by this gathering of 11 souls. That’s all fine and good. But what was needed now was for me to get fully out in front directing their arrivals, integration, logistics of food, space, manure management, winter planning, facilities, etc etc. Of course I was already doing that, but not in full power. There is a big difference between Jini at 80% and Jini at 100%!
It was also a call to me to discern more deeply why these 11 had gathered. What was their bigger purpose, why me, why now? And also a warning/wake-up call to stay in the driver’s seat (and not give my power away to the horses) as things unfold. It is vital to their purpose that I sit at the apex, that I value my own intuition and guidance as highly as I value theirs. Interestingly, my husband Ian had been saying the same thing to me, “I don’t like how you just say, ‘the Universe told me to’ what about what you want? What about pushing back, so the timing is better for you/us? You can still say, ‘yes’ but slow things down so you don’t get so exhausted.”
Thank you Ian and Makah-Mahpee, message received.
Here’s another freaky-deaky piece: As I was searching for the source of that quoted information on the number 8, despite trying various search terms, I couldn’t find it. But what did pop up was this… did you know that in numerology 2018 is… wait for it… the Year of the 11 Portal??!!
“2018 is the Global Year of the Master 11. 2+0+1+8 =11
The master 11 is the energy of divine inspiration, leadership, and new beginnings. It is a time of tapping into the wisdom that comes from our intuition and the connection to our higher power, beyond our intellect. When we do this, we have a clear channel to discover truth and to make a difference in our lives and others.
Something new is happening. Do you feel it? In mastery, an eleven vibration can shift what has been the norm because you are tapping into the universal collective of light and intelligence. You are connecting with the divine knowledge from the source of all things…”
I’ll leave you to ponder that. Meanwhile, back at the ranch…
By Day 8 of Makah’s injury, I felt the opportunity open up for me to do a Pranic healing session with him. Although I was drawn to work with his shoulder first, he soon directed me – very pointedly – to his knee! My daughter Zara was filming us and crowed, “I told you!” It was a pretty quick session as again, Makah didn’t want much help, just a little. He was still hobbling and shuffle-jumping, but in addition to being able to stand with full weight on his injured leg, he could also put some weight on it as he walked/hobbled along.
Our EFT Tapping session on the issue of defiance had also stayed with me and I realized there was one more aspect that needed to be tapped on… I remembered that when I met Makah for the very first time, he had an energy of sweetness, lightness, curiosity and eagerness. By the time he was separated from the mares after they birthed (so he wouldn’t breed them) into a small pen, his light had died. He would often stand for long periods, refusing to engage, with his head in the corner. Not only was he isolated from his herdmates, in an area too small to exercise, with no stimulation, he also couldn’t perform his very important job of protecting the mares and foals!
That’s when we decided to bring him to my place – and gave up on the idea of being able to get a halter on him. Kris had finally managed to find a vet who could do a blow-dart sedation – all the other vets we called refused to work on a wild horse who couldn’t be haltered. I stallion-proofed my paddock as best I could until his castration – as of course, both Zorra and Aude went into heat the second he arrived.
So ALL of that had happened to the poor lad, then he was gelded, and then he was injured! No wonder his light had died. So I did another session with him, reminding him of his true self, and taking him down to the fire at the center of the earth – using that fire to set his light aflame once more.
Are we done yet? Who knows? If we’ve received all the messages and healed all the aspects, then the injury will heal very quickly. If not, then more will be revealed, I’ll get woken up in the night again – or perhaps Makah-Mahpee will have learned how to visit me in the Dreamtime – and we’ll do more healing sessions with him. It’s all good because…
And perhaps he cannot fully heal until Kaliah and Xadaa arrive. Something tells me that until all 11 are together – like the final piece of a puzzle dropping into place – things cannot function as they’re meant to. So tomorrow my husband Ian and I are driving the trailer back up to Squamish and we’ll see what happens after that.
UPDATE: 2 months later, Makah’s injury serves yet another purpose and has yet another important message to deliver: The Revelations of Pain
Stay tuned for Part 8 of this Empowered Mustang saga…