How to Manifest the Land of Your Dreams – Part 4

We have now been on the could-be-kicked-off-at-any-minute land for almost 7 years. We have since made a couple of good property investments and the equity in our home, combined with the increased growth in our business, means that we can finally afford to buy land here in Langley, BC!

But this is also the year of Covid-19, so although we have been looking for 8 months solid, we have been unable to find anything suitable as there is so little inventory on the market. The owner has submitted the application for development on our leased land, and the trees have been moving their energy back into the earth, so I figure we probably have 1 year max left here.

Montaro, Juno and Jax have now been up at Kesia’s ranch for two years – since keeping all 11 horses here was just too intensive for the land and the 3 lads were tired of being cooped up with no access to trails, or roads safe to hike along.

My two eldest kids are now 18 (Zara) and 21 (Oscar). My 15-year-old son, Hugo, can no longer be held back from his professional football (soccer) career, so he and Dad are heading off to the UK in a few weeks.

As Ian and I ponder what to do – yet again – with our land conundrum, Ian throws up his hands and says, “You know what, do whatever you think is best. I’ve got to take Hugo to England, so if you want to sell the house and buy whatever you want, go for it.”

Whaaaat? Ian is the property guy in our family. He has never made a bad investment in real estate and he has a bonafide ‘nose’ for it. And now he is just going to turn it all over to me? I am stunned. At the same time, it gives me the unique opportunity to delve into what I really want – just me. Because my kids are all out of school and my husband is going away with our youngest for at least a year (with as many visits as possible!).

There are so many reasons not to keep horses down here on the coast of Vancouver in the rainy Pacific Northwest. If you live in the UK or Ireland, you know what I’m talking about! Here’s the difference in horsekeeping between Kesia and me – where we both have 8 horses, but she is North and inland so they get cold/snow winters:

After looking at numerous horse properties here in Langley that were all unsuitable for one reason or another, Ian said: “You know what I’ve always envisioned for our horses? I walk out my house and there’s lovely greenery and rolling hills spread out in front of me, the sun is shining, and I see the horses over there atop one hill. And it’s free and gorgeous and peaceful.”

I said, “That’s been my vision too.”

We’ve looked at land here for 8 months solid and that vision doesn’t exist here along the coast – it’s just getting more and more crowded, with factory agriculture, cannabis farms, mink farms, and stinky chicken prisons surrounding you, if you do manage to find a nice 10 acre+ piece of land. And there’s traffic pretty much everywhere.

So then Ian suggests: “Why don’t we pull some money out of our house here and buy a ranch inland? We can rent out part of our house here, if we need to. That way we diversify and don’t have all our eggs in one basket – buying ONE property for that much money makes me really nervous. If the market crashes, we’re hooped.”

I look at him in shock and say, “What?! You said you’d never live in the interior!”

He says, “I meant as my ONLY home. If I can keep this house here, I’m perfectly happy to have a second home inland.”

SO. I ponder looking for land in the interior again, but let me tell you what’s happened every time I’ve said, “I can’t do this anymore, I need more land and in a climate more conducive to horsekeeping!”

The Universe says No

Five years ago, I really felt like Princeton BC would be the ideal area – only 2.5-3 hours drive from our house here, with just the kind of land I love. A mix of rolling hills and forest, with plenty of creeks and lakes. At that time, I had found a perfect 320 acre ranch for $750,000. We also couldn’t afford it (without selling our current house) but I’m a lifelong entrepreneur and I know how to play with money so I didn’t let that stop me. Ian however, was very resistant. He said I would rarely go there and what’s the point of having horses if they weren’t with me? All very good points! So I waffled about for a few months, but one day it all came to a head and I said, “That’s it, I’m phoning the realtor to go see it tomorrow and make this ranch happen!” I called the realtor and he told me the ranch had sold the day before – to a couple from Vancouver (insert whichever WTF?? emoji you wish here).

Princeton, BC

I took it as a sign from the universe – the timing was just such a pointed message. Years passed and then once again the cost of keeping horses down here, the weather, the stress of managing 7 youth as my barn workers – because it’s so labor intensive here – all mounted up to make me once again look inland. It just was not working logistically down here and the expenses were sky high – but thrown away on someone else’s land.

So I thought, Princeton was a no, but what about going East, to Rock Creek area? I booked with a realtor there and paid a deposit to stay in her Airbnb cottage. And… the entire region was flooded for three weeks, right when I was booked to go. Okay, no problem, stuff happens.

After things settled down and they cleaned up the town and all the damage, I booked to go again. A few days before I was due to leave, massive forest fires ripped through the region – the entire area was blanketed in thick smoke. Are you kidding me?? Flood, now fire – both at the exact times I was booked to go? Fine – I know a message from the universe when I see one.

A couple more years passed and once again I was back to thinking the interior of BC was the only option. The arborist had already been through our leased land to tag all the trees and I felt the timeline there running out. So when I drove to Vernon to take a break and visit Güliz, I paid extra attention to every area I drove through, looking for any region that FELT right/good to me. I hit a micro-climate about 2 hours from my house, on the way to Kamloops that felt and looked amazing. So when I returned home, I googled real estate listings in the area, but there were no good farms or ranches for sale.

I kept an eye on it and every couple of months I checked again. After about 6 months, I stumbled across a 160 acre ranch that looked perfect! And by this time, we could afford it. So I contacted the realtor immediately, and was told that they had just accepted an offer on the ranch a few days ago, and it was due to close in 2 weeks time. Again??! But I didn’t give up hope, I said to the universe, “If we’re meant to have this ranch, then the offer will fall through.” Ian agreed to drive up with me immediately if it became available, and then I waited to hear from the realtor. The sale completed without a hitch and so this was the THIRD time the universe had slammed the door on me buying a ranch inland.

Needless to say, I’m a wee bit leery of trying, yet again, to purchase land in the interior. BUT this time, Ian actually wants it and sees it as a good idea. Perhaps that is the missing piece of the energy puzzle…?

Güliz and I have often talked about me buying land in the interior and her being the one to live on it full time. So I text Güliz about my recent conversation with Ian and his willingness to purchase inland and I say:

“Well, there’s still not much on the market… but if anything interests you Guliz, do you want to get back in gear with your realtor and then if you find something you love, we’ll come up and see it?

I have no idea how much time I’d spend there to be honest… can’t envision that and will likely just play it by ear. Also Hugo and Ian will likely be mostly in the UK for the next 2 years. For sure none of us will be there in the winter. Except maybe for Zara who loves snow, and Juliet!

So if you’re still up for it, this would need to be a property that YOU could manage and that you want for your home. When I say manage, I don’t mean you need to be the handyman etc! We can pay people to do any maintenance/repairs. You would make sure all the horses are good, fences are good, water is thawed, hay is ordered etc. (unless we’re growing our own). We’ll probably do our winter hay like Kesia does. That seems like the sanest option and regenerates the land. Then you pay rent, we pay you to caretake. We have an Agreement, we keep it clean.

I’m also open to ALL possibilities… let me know…”

However, Güliz texts back that she has now committed to living on her friend Greta’s land for the next few years, so she is out of the picture. Well. That makes me stop and think… again. And I am now mentally, physically and spiritually exhausted. I sleep until 3pm the following day. When I get up, I have a bath, and then go back to bed. I’m not sick, I am just giving myself time and space to process.

Fear of Success

As I lie there in bed, I go back over Claudia’s comment, along with my conversation with Kesia about HOME and looking for the place that feels like home. And I realize there are levels of ‘feeling like home’. There is the level that I have felt, which is that I’m attached to the place, I have fond memories and feelings about it, where it’s like putting on your favorite pair of slippers. And then there is the level of HOME where it is a heart-soul attachment. The only place I felt that level of home was Kenya – which I was forced to leave at age 5. I had already done a Lazer Tapping session on being forced to move for my Member’s group. But this was now about the soul-splitting aspect of having to leave a home where your body was ONE with the earth in that place. As I tapped through my feelings I realized that I was afraid of ever attaching to a place like that again – the fear of feeling like that, and possibly losing it, was enough to stop me in my tracks.

On safari – with my feet on the red earth of Kenya

It’s a variation on the Fear of Success theme – we can be afraid to succeed in life, career, money, relationships and yes, land/home, because once we really, truly have our heart’s deepest desire, then what happens if we lose it?! And rather than having to go through the pain of that possible loss, we would rather not have our dream to begin with. That’s how we subconsciously sabotage ourselves.

We’re scared of setting up or obtaining what we really want, and then having it taken away. It’s easy to roll with the punches of life when you don’t care too much. When your attachment won’t rip your soul. We’re afraid to want what we REALLY want, because losing it will hurt so much.

Why can’t I find land? Why am I always blocked from buying land? Why don’t I have my dream ranch? Have I even defined my dream ranch – or have I been afraid to delineate what I really, really want? What my heart/soul longs for…

So every time the horses asked me, What do you want? I would always frame my answer within the realm of what felt/looked possible. And what I deemed possible, was defined just as much by my fear, as by my desire.

This is why I keep banging on about Lazer Tapping to y’all! Once you learn how to tap for yourself, you have this incredibly powerful mind/body/spirit healing tool, literally at your fingertips.

I tapped through all my feelings of fear about loving/attaching to land at this soul-level:

Am I willing to open my heart again, to experience that level of connection, of belonging, to experience what I really want, for however long it lasts? Even if it ends and I have to leave again, am I willing to experience the pain for the joy? For the love, the fullness, the rightness, the belonging to the earth in that space and time?

And as I peeled away the layers of fear and resistance, I tapped in the new possibility that my heart is far more practiced now at the openness of loving existence. At living ALL the colors of the rainbow – the full spectrum of life. Even if it only lasts a short time, it is an experience of life. Of course I know intellectually that nothing is stable or secure. But I’m now open to sitting/resting in this emotional reality too.

By the time I came to the end of my impromptu Lazer Tapping session, I was emotionally ready to FEEL and claim what I really want.

  • I want a 100+ acre ranch inland, here in BC (Singing Horse Herd)
  • I want a 300+ acre ranch in a temperate climate as the other touchstone property to complete the circle (horse-dolphin-elephant-whale)
  • I don’t want just ONE thing.

It’s what I’ve always wanted, but it felt too big, too logistically difficult, too impossible to claim. But I’m finally ready and clear enough to simply want what I want. Without knowing any of the details of how or when – just claiming the space of what I truly want. Of course, that doesn’t mean that I want, or expect, to manifest all the properties at once!

Was that tapping session to clear trauma, and my newfound clarity, enough to bring in my dream ranch here in BC? Nope. There was still another big energetic block in the pathway.

Karmic blocks & saboteurs

A year ago, I had observed the fact all 4 of us who work closely with the herd – Güliz, Juliet, Kesia and I – were not living the way we wanted to live! Even Kesia – who bought land with her family 3 years ago, is paying a mortgage on that land, yet she doesn’t live on her land. Instead, she rents a house nearby. What the heck??

Güliz was out visiting the herd and we were discussing my thwarted quest for land, when I brought up this aspect that none of us were living the way we wanted. As we walked to the back pasture, Güliz suggested we go into session and see what emerged. As we sat down and sank into connection, a vulture flew overhead. In the 6 years we’ve been on this property, none of us has ever seen a vulture here. Plenty of hawks, eagles, pileated woodpeckers, robins, hummingbirds and probably 25 other species of bird – but never a vulture.

We went back to a life in Ancient Egypt where we had all been present (Juliet, Kesia, Güliz and I). Some of us had banished the others and some were the ones who’d been banished (almost like a curse) to wander forever seeking land/home. Güliz saw herself and others travelling across a barren desert, searching for a home.

It doesn’t matter who did the banishing and who was banished – because both have to be released and forgiven for any change to take place. Karma is like a boomerang – you get back what you put out. The actioner and receiver of the action are mirrors – both will experience the same result of the action – whether it is perceived as positive or negative. The only way to get off this karmic wheel is to forgive all the people involved, and also yourself.

So Güliz and I created a circle and invited Kesia and Juliet’s higher self to sit in circle with us and hold hands. We did Ho’oponopono for each of us:

  • I’m sorry
  • Please forgive me
  • Thank you
  • I love you

Literally the minute we finished this process, an ex-boyfriend of Güliz’s, whom she hadn’t heard from in months, sent her a property listing for a ranch. It felt like instant confirmation from the universe that we had removed the block. That was Sunday.

Keep in mind, over the last 6 years I have done extensive work on myself and any possible blocks or saboteurs I was holding around manifesting land. I also know that we’ve been held here on this leased land, because the land needed a lot of healing and release. It feels like now that the land here is whole, it can go dormant for a while and not suffer from the coming townhome development and human infestation.

On Monday (the very next day), Güliz received a listing for a gorgeous 160 acre ranch near Vernon, from her realtor, but she didn’t send it, because it was significantly higher than the budget I’d given her. Then on Tuesday, she decided to just send it anyway. I woke up on Tuesday morning – after only 5 hours sleep, but not feeling tired, and unable to go back to sleep, so I checked my phone. I clicked on the listing and thought, “Wow the land is gorgeous!” I shot the listing off to my hubby Ian, who was in the UK and he messaged back a few minutes later: “This looks great – go see it!” I asked him if we could swing the price though, as it was considerably over our budget. He ran some calculations (he handles the accounting in our partnership) and said yes, we could manage it. I phoned the realtor and made an appointment to drive up the very next day.

When I told Ian I was going to see it the next day, he then suggested that I immediately place an offer, subject to viewing and financing, so that nobody could get an offer in before I’d seen it! So I did, and by the time my daughter and I left the next morning for the 5 hour drive up, we had an Accepted Offer to purchase the property and 3 weeks to confirm we liked it and get the financing arranged. THAT is what FLOW looks like! YES we were back in alignment with the universe.

As we entered the gravel road that led to the property, a vulture left the bear carcass it was eating and flew right in front of our Jeep window. As I was touring and learning all the details of the property, my daughter Zara lay down in the field with the cows. With a rock and a stick under her back and her head on a log, she fell into a deep sleep.

Here’s the thing: Zara has never fallen asleep outside before, not even while suntanning. Plus she had already slept in the truck for about 4 hours on the way up. She says the land ‘took her’ and she felt like she went down into the earth. She then told me there’s First Nations all through the land in that area (including on this ranch) and we’re going to need to work with them. Juliet and I have been working with First Nations ancestors through the land here all year – so no surprise there!

The land is amazing and felt like the perfect home for the Singing Horse Herd and for the humans who work with them. As we drove away from the property, over 3 hours later, the herd of 60 cows and their magnificent bull had come right down across the driveway. In the middle of the cows I spied a single horse. He was a lineback dun, with a black mane and tail. Just like Montaro. It felt like Montaro was already here, or, this horse was the placeholder for Montaro.

And so it is.

In case you missed the beginning of this series, click here for Part 1

How to Manifest the Land of Your Dreams – Part 4

19 thoughts on “How to Manifest the Land of Your Dreams – Part 4

  • September 26, 2021 at 1:57 am
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    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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  • September 26, 2021 at 1:57 am
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    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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  • September 26, 2021 at 8:08 am
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    Oh Glory Be!!!!

    Devine intervention…Dreams and desires come true! Fulfillment at its best!
    I have so much joy for you and this manifestation and all the work and obstacles and choices that you have made to have this presented to you!

    What a glorious portion of Miss Mother Nature a truly gorgeous place to live….will you be living here? If not how far is Guliz away? Will she be taking care of the herd? How long until Aude, Zorra, Kaliah, Makkah-Maphee and miss Syione come to the land? I know you won’t let us miss out on Aude and Juno and Montaro being reunited?

    I am also excited for what Omar and Raven want to teach us all! Domestic horses have a lot to offer us….just as the wildies take us to a place that might be tucked away in many of us the domestics can help us connect with other parts that are just as important! The herd I share life with enriches and teaches me everyday and I am living a life I have always wanted because of them!

    I adore the part about your daughter falling asleep and being soaked up by the land and the teaching she has already been gifted! She seems so connected and insightful and I know she will play an intricate part of all of our continuing growth!

    I am extremely drawn to the hill that stands out in the background as we have a similar one in our view (do you know the name?) and the familiar visual connects me to all of you in a personal way!

    I am already feeling human communes coming to this land I hope to be one of them!
    I would be honored to see and feel the herd in person and meet you all after so many written conversations!

    I am so thrilled for you Jini! You are strong, courageous, fierce , loving , intuitive , willing to grow and dig deep and most of all I feel a kindred connection to you! Love to you and all of the ladies that support you on the ground there and your family and extremely astounding husband!

    Just love!
    ✌🏼💚🐴

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    • September 27, 2021 at 10:09 pm
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      Did you check out the workshop we’re going to be doing in May yet?

      https://singinghorseherd.com/circle-workshop/

      It would be so cool to have you here for the herds very first workshop on the land! And would be so cool to see the link ups with your herd and your land back home…

      I am here right now and getting some great footage of the beautiful fall colours and the special colours that the mountains take on. I don’t know the names of the mountains yet, unfortunately. People have told me a bunch of names but as we haven’t been standing here, I’m not 100% sure which one is which. But I will find out!

      Thanks for hanging in there with us and holding such a great space during this journey Michelle. And here’s to the next great big journey…!

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  • September 26, 2021 at 8:57 am
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    Wow. Wow wow! Jini I so admire your willingness to share your story deeply and fully with us. Your vulnerability is so healing so thank you. I’m so excited for you. Will you live there?
    I have a dram to live and help cAre for horses. Since my beloved Prowler died 4 years ago I have given up that dream. It was a beautiful time for me but also highly stressful financially and emotionally because I was a low income renter..l with a horse!
    Your story had made me realize there may be a way for me to have my dream in a different way than I did before..l besides I don’t ever have a feeling of ownership being a thing with animals… we can pay money for them but we can never own another being. So if the universe wants to support my dream ….

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    • September 27, 2021 at 10:14 pm
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      Thanks Jai! I found it’s really critical for us to get super clear on our dream, on what we want. Then the universe can start to arrange everything to bring that towards us. But if we have uncertainty, or we’re not very clear, or sure, all those things are like a boulder blocking the flow that wants to flow towards us but gets stuck in our indecision or lack of clarity, or lack of faith/hope. Make sense?

      So yes, I am absolutely sure the universe can assist you in making that happen. Just keep leaning in and doing your own work. And at the same time write down on paper your ideal scenario. Be bold! Then take that paper and put it away in a special box. Call the box your God Box or something similar. So you write it down and you hand it over to the universe and you release it in trust. ❤️

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  • September 26, 2021 at 10:05 am
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    OMG, I am so happy for you and them!!! What a fantastic story, and ending. I love the land! It’s a lot like our land only about 4 hours south 🙂 Beautiful!

    Would love to get a tour of the barn/facilities and how you plan/see the herd be during the seasons. I mean in terms of rotating pastures (or not), and what you have to do on the land to maintain the grass…. are you going to hay it? Is there enough grass for the horses for the summer (I know cows who were there prior can really destroy the grass, it happens here all the time), or will you have to re-seed, etc?

    And of course, when do you plan to move all the horses? I am guessing they are coming up with you as you drive back and forth. 5 hrs is not a lot of time, I am sure you’ll be doing the drive often now.

    I am so happy for you, it’s been a long time coming! Congratulations!

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    • September 27, 2021 at 10:21 pm
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      Only four hours away! If we could only cross the damn border 😬 And yes, it is just as visually stunning here as your land. You would absolutely love it. Now let’s see if I can answer all of your questions…

      We have seven horses here including Omar and Raven. And Five are still in Langley. Because I am not going to be here for the winter. In the spring I am hoping most if not all of the horses will come up with me to the ranch here. But as you know, that is their choice.

      Güliz and a ranch caretaker are on site here year-round. And yes, the pastures have been totally over grazed by the cows, and the land told both Juliet and me: no more cow poop! Which I find interesting, because most people think cow manure is really good for gardens etc. but anyway we are focussing first on helping the land heal. And we hope to grow hay and garlic. We are purposely not planning too much, and just letting the land and the horses tell us what they want and need.

      The horses are still eating grass and it looks like there will be plenty for them to eat possibly until the end of October, unless the weather gets really severe really fast. I think that once the pastures are regenerated, the horses might be able to forage all winter long and not require any hay. I bought the book, Kick the hay habit, so I have some ideas about what to do… But we will have to see how things go. And of course every year is different depending on the weather.

      But yes, very exciting and also very challenging at the same time! Something I know you are very familiar with too. xoxo

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      • September 28, 2021 at 2:48 pm
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        Oh, Guliz left her place then? So good for her to be there, what a fabulous adventure!
        I am sure things are fluid and you’ll figure out where to be and when. Yes, I see all the horses up there, they are not going to want to miss out! I am sure Aude will be so happy to reconnect with Montaro and Juno (who looks amazing btw, very grown up and aware).

        It’s fabulous to think that you can look forward to letting horses eat the land resources once the land recovers. Yay! I am going to check that book out! Never heard of it.

        Enjoy and definitely post more photos/videos!!

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  • September 26, 2021 at 1:40 pm
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    Oh Jini, my heart goes out to you, the horses and everyone involved before and during the process of manifesting this land to reality.

    How your soul glow and grow and radiate life all around, with every trees you touch, every land you walk on, and every sentients you encounter. All are intentional meetings and never an accident. Because you have been so true to your authentic beings, you are invincible. Truly. It’s only going to get bigger from here. Thank you for showing me what being in-flow with the universe looks like.

    My heart is gleaming with joy for you, your family, the horses and all the other lives that will find your land its home.

    greatest love always,
    Daline

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    • September 27, 2021 at 10:26 pm
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      Awww Daline, thank you so much for your blessings! I have to be honest with you though, as much as everything appears to be magical and magnificent, and indeed it truly is… It is also extremely challenging and overwhelming. And I have already cycled through a couple of episodes where I have felt completely overwhelmed and inadequate and like I may have seriously screwed up. And I’m sure there will be more of those episodes to come!

      This is the paradox of getting bigger… The second you get bigger, you consequently throw yourself into overwhelm and stress. Because you are in a situation for which you don’t have the tools or skill set, because you are in process… You are not big enough yet! You are in the *process* of getting bigger. And so we come back to the words of Montaro: Get bigger… until the boulder on your shoulder becomes a pebble in your pocket. And so we press on. ❤️🦄

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  • September 27, 2021 at 3:39 pm
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    Jini, congratulations, what a milestone to reach in your life and development! It must feel incredibly liberating! I felt healing was inspired within myself, just by reading your story.

    How sre you going to heal the land, the First Nations souls…?
    🐎 Angela

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    • September 27, 2021 at 10:30 pm
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      That’s wonderful Angela, I’m so pleased. I am not sure how the land healing is going to take place. The land will have to guide us in that process, as it has done in other locations that we’ve done this work. Juliet has been keeping records of everything and hopefully she will begin writing a book about all the different experiences and requests and processes the land has required. I think that will be a pretty freaking cool book! And knowledge that is desperately needed. Because then people will be inspired to go out and do the healing on land in their region. Perhaps Juliet will even offer a workshop on the topic… That would be really good too!

      It will also be very interesting to see how the land and the horses want to work with the First Nations. Again, we will do as they instruct and then share the stories afterwards.

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  • September 27, 2021 at 8:08 pm
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    wowzers, youDID it!! if i were 20 yrs younger, i’d LOVE to run/manage another ranch , dozens of horses cows sheep coyotes, mountain sheep, elk, deer, rattlesnakes, hay fields etc etc.., the 550 acre one i lived on in Midway, very near rock creek but far more beautiful , sold for 750K., seems like peanuts these days. , the Earth herSelf, and the Cosmos are going wild in Celebration of you ! xoxoxox

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    • September 27, 2021 at 10:33 pm
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      There is some gorgeous land around Rock Creek, so I can just imagine. And yes, so much physical labor! No doubt we are on a massive, massive learning curve. But the universe has already started sending us very experienced, capable helpers. So we are not without support in this endeavour ❤️

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  • September 28, 2021 at 5:06 am
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    Dear Jini,

    I’m so happy for you and for the herd thet you finally found this land. Wish you all, Zara, Güliz, Juliet and Kesia included, the bests things to come on your path. Let it make you happy, make you to learn and to grow and to enjoy life together with your magnificent horses.

    Your blog was again an inspiration for me. Partly because I never heard of the Ho’oponopono and now I looked it up and got curious about it. Especially the part about ones own responsibility in what seems to happen ‘outside’ while in fact it is also in the inner subconscius. This year lots of things happened in my life that I called ‘bad luck’ or ‘fate’ or whatewere other term for things ‘outside of me’. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, what gives a lot of pain, my daughter broke her ankle, my husband is suffering from gut-issues and so on.

    Although I really did my best to keep positive under these circumstances (and mostly managed to do so), I still thought of it al being something that overcomes us, as things we have no control over and thus no responsibility. But your writing makes me shift my mind and wonder what the outside and inside paralell might be and what to to about it.

    It seems rather complicated and also new, but still I decided to try. For one, I felt truly happy for you and the horses finding your ranch. It gave me hope and energy and I will try to ‘give back’ or maybe better formulted ‘give on’ this positve energy to the world. I will tell my Fjord and our small herd of five horses she lives in, what a wonderful thing happened to you and your herd. And I will try to be open to their reaction of the effects that might cause.

    Another try is about a dream I had last night. I had the nightmare that my Fjord came wounded by a car accident to me, while I was looking for a pasture, bleeding and shattered. I took her in my lap where she somehow transformed to my cat, also wounded and barely alive. I tried to save this suffering creature (a mixture of my oth beloved animal friends), with all the energy I had in me, crying and seraching for help. And woke suddenly up by the pain caused by my muscles which were so tense as if I really was running and acting in dispare.

    I don’t want bad things to happen to my animals or to my loved ones. But yet, this dream emerged out of me and helds a piece of my ‘inside’. Maybe a good starting point to work on, by excersinging Ho’oponopono and dig deeper in my own subconscius about saboteurs and such. For now I’m still trying to grasp this new concept of ‘outside’ and ‘inside’ being aspects of the same thing. Trying to understand what the universe is telling me by the things that happen and how to act upon it in a positive way.

    I’ll let you know what follows. And for now I send you all a big sunny smile and a warm hug.

    With lots of love from, Reka

    Reply
    • September 28, 2021 at 11:35 am
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      How wonderful Reka, and a whole new world opening up for you. I would also look to your dream as a clue to the possible origins of your fibromyalgia. At least as a starting point… when you go into the dream, identify the emotions you were feeling, the stories you were telling yourself about what everything meant, the beliefs and patterns the dream reveals to you about yourself, etc. and then notice how your physical body has reacted in response to those realities. This will give you some clues as to the emotional/psychological/spiritual causes of your fibromyalgia. Often healing can originate at that level and then filter down into the physical body, so it is well worth exploring as part of your healing journey. Namaste.

      Reply
      • September 29, 2021 at 8:28 am
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        Thank you, Jini! I will do so. It is indeed a good starting point for the inner investigation.

        And after I told our horses about your ranch and the succes of your plans, we had a very pleasant and relaxed walk in the woods with my Fjord mare. And for some reason she seemed much more connected with me and much more relaxed than she was the days before. And I felt much more connected to myself, to her and to everything around. So the first steps I took, seem to have a positive result… I’ll keep going on.

        The best wishes for you and the herd!

        Reply
  • September 28, 2021 at 5:42 pm
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    Jini,
    I’m just beyond happy for you!!! I feel like I’ve been hovering over your story for ages, wondering where it will all lead. Such a suspenseful chapter book where I care for each character. How will it go? What is to happen next?

    I live so far away from you but your detailed love of the known and unknown has helped in the development of my own heart. I now get to grow more with you and your family and herd as you expand in this life. Congratulations on your dream come true!!

    Reply

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