Two days before the livestream message from Kaliah, her daughter Xadaa ran over my husband, Ian.
Xadaa and Audelina were in a fenced-off area which included the hay storage arena and about 50-feet along the barn road. I was off doing other things and Ian was in there spending lots of time grooming and scratching Aude.
Then I came out to get Ian a better pair of gloves from my truck. So Ian pulled off his gloves and was waiting inside the arena panels at the end of the barn road.
At that moment, Audelina came down the barn road and drove Xadaa away from her, out of her space. Now if Ian had stayed calm and grounded in his spot, he would have been okay. If he’d grabbed onto an arena panel and hoisted himself up a rung, he would have been okay. Instead, his body chose to run in front of Xadaa, in the path/direction Aude was driving her.
Xadaa knocked into Ian and he stumbled and fell down on the rocky barn road. From my vantage point it looked like she went right over top of him, but she must have jumped him as he had no hoof bruisings on him. In fact, his only injuries were to his left hand/thumb and his left knee.
I went to the tackroom to get a colloidal silver spray and water to flush his cuts clean and Xadaa followed me straight out and over to Kaliah to nurse.
Aude came out too, as I was re-entering the arena, and when I looked up again, she, Xadaa and Posa were deep in meditation by the tackroom – with Cobra flanking them. They stayed like this until we left the barn, about 20 minutes later.
Interestingly, Ian behaves just like an animal after trauma and was pacing around quickly – releasing the adrenalin cascade through movement. He was so angry Aude did that to him, especially after he’d spent such a close time of connection with her.
Now, if this was a normal horsemanship blog, this is the point where we’d talk about natural herd behaviour, herd ranking and movement, dominance, etc.
But because we’re us, let’s go to the deeper level of what happened and WHY – what is the message?
Ian spent that evening and the entire next day/night going deep within himself. I pointed out that because his injuries were all on his left side (feminine) that the message did not require action, but rather, intuition; receiving wisdom from his body and higher self. So he pretty much went into hibernation, I brought him food and drinks, and he only emerged for a couple of debriefs to discuss what he was receiving, feeling, thinking, over the next day and a half.
Although he also received a number of smaller messages, the main message/wisdom was this:
You must not give up your circle of power / your vertical / your grounding and connection to the divine, for anyone or any reason.
Trust and love (for other people/beings), are different things and are not connected to you holding your vertical – they have nothing to do with each other. You must hold your guidance and not give that up for any reason.
Saying, “Well, I wouldn’t choose do that, but I trust you.” is not good.
Saying, “I don’t agree with that, but I love you, so I’ll go along.” is not okay.
The message is, you must stand in your truth, or you will suffer as a consequence.
The day before this happened, our house was appraised, as our mortgage is coming up for renewal, and Ian spent 2 hours on the phone with an accountant/adviser. We have some big decisions to make and might even be able to purchase our own chunk of land soon. So of course, it was vital that Ian receive this message and stand in his own wisdom as we discuss our future.
At one point, Ian said, “Yes, but I don’t even like horses! They’ve always scared me and there’s no way I’d have horses if it wasn’t for you. So now I’m looking at being leveraged to the hilt just so we can buy land… for something I don’t even want. But I trust you, and I trust your guidance. And I love you, so I want to help you out and I want what’s best for you.”
And I replied, “No! What did Audelina just teach you? And of course, she is just the vehicle for your higher self/guidance. But what was her message about standing in your truth, not giving up your vertical, your guidance, for any reason? And that this has nothing to do with love or trust! Those are separate things – don’t lump them together.”
I remember when I received this very same lesson from Montaro years ago. I remember how shocked and hurt I was that he could physically hurt me when there was SO much love and trust between us. How could you do that to me?! And he too, told me that my grounding/connection/power has nothing to do with love or trust.
I guess as humans, we just automatically lump all these things together in one bag. But the horses have shown me that abdicating your own body wisdom, or giving up your divine guidance, because you trust someone, or because you love them, is nonsense. That love and trust in another has nothing to do with abandoning your connection to Source.
That doesn’t mean that you part ways with everyone you love because they don’t want what you want! It means that you both stand in your truth and then figure out how to meet both your needs.
The solution is not for you both to compromise – again, that just means that neither of you is honoring your guidance. It means that you look for the 3rd alternative – the solution that meets both your needs/desires, that hasn’t been done, or thought of, before.
If Ian’s truth is that he doesn’t want to lose half his income paying for horses, then he needs to stand in the power of that truth and not worry about how his truth affects me. His truth/guidance is separate from his love for me.
I said to Ian, “If you stand in that truth, then we split our money after basic living costs are paid, and I only have my half to pay for the horses. Then I need to decide what I can afford and how I will care for them. And maybe you holding to your vertical, will then open up other avenues of possibility. Maybe the universe cannot bring me other options, or help, as long as you are helping pay for them. Maybe the universe needs you to stand in your truth and take your energy (money is energy) out of the picture!”
And of course, standing in your truth can be spoken with love. Ian could say to me, “You know that I love you and I only want what’s best for you. So I wish I wanted what you want, but I don’t. I’m just not willing to have my income go towards the horses – that doesn’t feel right or good to me. So we need to split our money and then you can spend your share however you wish. But I’m here to support you emotionally, and to help you brainstorm ideas, because I do believe in what you’re doing – it’s just not my gig, it needs to be all yours.”
Ian standing in his truth, his vertical, will change the course of events. It will also change the choices I have to make and the options before me. But that will be a good thing. Because the truth is always a good thing. The truth always sets us free. It may take some time, but in the end, the truth will stand.
I don’t know what we’ll decide, or what the next steps will be. There are lots of signs floating around and lots of factors to consider, and my dialogue with the horses continues… so we will see! Watch this space…