So I’m in the paddock with my Andalusian horse Zorra and it’s a beautiful sunny day. She’s all brushed and nicely clean, so I hop on.
And she pretty much immediately asks me to get off
I say, “Are you sure, not even for a little while?” She answers, “No. Please get off.”
So I give her a hug and I get off
She is pleased. And our relationship bond is intact. I don’t emotionally withdraw from her because she asked me to get off, and she feels heard and listened to – we are both still in deep connection
Am I hurt that she asked me to get off, or confused, or frustrated? It doesn’t matter, because I get to choose my reaction. And when I choose softness, I think: maybe her back hurts, maybe she’s irritable, maybe she wants to go have a nap, maybe one of the herd harassed her all morning and she’s just worn out, who knows?
And that’s the point. When I’m in an intimate relationship with my horse, I respect her body and her desires, and she respects mine. We negotiate, maybe we cajole, we suggest alternatives, and we are each allowed to say No. And so no matter what happens, the line of trust is not broken. I believe this is one of the cornerstones of soulmate love.