When you seek to live in symbiosis with all the beings in your universe, when you understand that the ocean is contained in a drop of water, that your exterior or environment reflects back to you your interior… then you also open up to the possibility of dialogue between yourself and every pinprick of light within the matrix web of your universe.
If you ever want experiential proof that we are all connected, that we are all ONE, then I invite you to open to this matrix of connection. Where beings in different forms, on different continents – unbeknownst to each other – can spontaneously deliver the same message. Where different life forms collaborate to contribute to your understanding of a complex dynamic, or a tricky pathway – assisted by inanimate objects… or are they?
This story is not simple or short. And the task of languaging imagery, emotion and telepathy is not easy – how do I explain something that exists primarily in the viscera? How do we talk about things that are mostly felt-sense, not words? I invite you to put aside your critical mind (it can come back and party later) breathe deeply and go all loose-brain as you wend your way through this tale…
Xadaa means Moose (Gitxsan language)
Xadaa (Kaliah’s daughter) is only 2 years old, but she is huge. She has the conformation and speed of a racehorse. I watch her zipping across this tiny pitted land and I long to see her racing flat out across hundreds of acres of terrain.
And then she asks me to brush her. So I do. But I must be very careful because she is so highly sensitive. And then Posa comes over and wants to be brushed as well, so now I am dealing with both of them in a confined area and it is getting stressful.
Because Xadaa is so hypersensitive, she can suddenly trigger into aggression when she feels overwhelmed. So if I’m going to work with her doing domestic things like grooming or halter training, I really need to work with her in a separate area. As I am thinking these thoughts, Xadaa lunges out and at me – it happens too fast for me to really know what I did, what Posa did, or what happened, but my body is already in motion and reacting. I reach out to block her, or signal to her, and my injured right shoulder re-injures itself and the pain jolts through me as Xadaa’s pinned ears and bared teeth snake towards me, and then past me.
And that’s when I realize: My idea was never to have wild horses in a contained, managed, domestic environment. And these wild horses do not want to be tamed… and I do not want to tame them. So I find myself wondering yet again why they are here on this tiny piece of land in the middle of the city?
If I am meant to send them to Kesia’s ranch, where they can be on wild land and behave like they naturally would, then why didn’t they get on the trailer last year? Why did the lads go instead? And then Aude answers me: “Because then you never would have sent the lads. You would only have sent the wildies and you would have kept us with you, no matter what.” True.
So I am left wondering, yet again, what the bigger picture is… why are we being held here on this tenuous patch, when will I see the lads again, how are we all to get through this global transition that has begun, and why do the elephants keep speaking to me?
Mustangs & elephants
As I am feeling into my recurring vision of a mustang and elephant sanctuary ranch in California and feeling completely overwhelmed, wondering how the hell I will ever make that happen, or be able to afford it, or live there etc. etc.… I keep feeling that I cannot even begin to make that happen with all these horses here in this fragile situation where I don’t even have land, nor a reliable caretaker, and can be kicked off this acreage at any moment.
We tried to move to Cali 6 years ago – a place the whole family loved: San Luis Obispo county (SLO). We put an offer on 50 acres and then found out that Canadians can’t get a mortgage in the US (but we can get one in Mexico?!). The seller owned a number of properties and could have offered us seller financing or a lease-to-own… but he didn’t. So then we found a house to lease on 5 acres, filled out all the paperwork… and the owner decided that night to sell it instead. So we concluded that the universe was actively closing doors in our face and returned home.
Three years ago when I was giving a couple of seminars at the Healing With Horse Symposium in Arizona, two elephants kept me up all night (and I had to give a lecture the next day, so really wanted to get to sleep!). Finally, I turned on the light, sketched them and wrote down their message in my journal. Then they let me go to sleep. They told me their names and that there’s nothing I need to do, that they will find me. Well, this climate here would be hell for elephants. But California and about 3,000 acres of land would be great for a few elephants!
And so, bit by bit, this vision of elephants and horses together on a ranch in California has grown. I also keep seeing horse-dolphin-elephant-whale linked in a circle. If the ranch could have a bit of land/cliff that juts out into the ocean where the dolphins and whales could swim up… then the 4 species could physically link. I have no idea why this would be important – I just get a sense that there is some kind of vibration or frequency this link-up would create that is vital to the health and wellbeing of this planet. Or perhaps, as Kaliah talked about two years ago, it would create a portal of some kind.
I thought I was just making-crazy-shit-up and then I read a story by a man in South Africa. The last surviving elephant in a local herd (the matriarch) had just lost her final herd member. She went out, overlooking the sea, and called out these wracking sounds of mourning and grief. And then… a whale swam up and began answering her calls – mourning with her. He said it was so powerful but yet so incredibly, profoundly intimate, that he couldn’t stay there and he had to go away and give them their privacy.
But as I said… I cannot see how I can possibly make all this happen in California while being the primary caregiver for 8 horses in Langley (south of Vancouver), on land I don’t even own. Every couple of years, we go out and look at land for sale in our area, but we still cannot financially make that happen. Vancouver and surrounding areas are highly attractive to buyers from Asia which has driven up the price – $1,000,000 would not even buy you 5 acres.
The owner of the land I rent here in Langley (listed at $27 million) sent an arborist last month who spent a week on the property cataloguing all the trees. Then the owner (who lives in Beijing) sent a survey team to map all of the creeks and possibly other things because there are marker flags all over the fields. They were here for 10 days. A Catholic school has bought the land just around the corner. Which tells me this will be zoned residential for sure. So perhaps that’s why the owner has had the land surveyed and mapped, in preparation for his zoning application for subdivision. And so the urgency gets louder.
While all this is happening, I receive this email from a horse listener in France, named Sabine, who found me on YouTube:
“My journey of healing with horses from childhood abuse and realigning to my True Self of love and light was a daily practice. In this journey, I was encouraged and inspired by you, by the immense wisdom of your horses and by their messages that resonated deeply within me.
Today I want to thank you for your enlightening presence, for your words of wisdom, for your devotion to translate the messages of the herd and make their immense knowledge available to the world. You and your horses are such a gift to this world 🙏🏻 Thank you Jini.
I would like to give back to you. I don’t know what you might need or seek?
I live in France. I am an animal communicator. So let me know Jini. I am so full of gratitude! That would be my absolute pleasure to balance out a fraction of all that I have received from you.”
Her simple question of: I would like to give back to you. I don’t know what you might need or seek? Felt like it was being asked by the universe itself.
It is the same question the horses have been asking me for five years: What do you want?
To which I would reply: I want my own land!
But that has not happened and over the years the horses have shown me the benefits/reasons why we’ve been held on this property here. I wondered if perhaps I was not looking big picture enough… and perhaps that’s why they keep asking the question…
So I responded to this email with what I have already told you. And her reply was as follows – I am sharing it here because, just as her question seemed to come from the universe, I feel her message is likewise for all of us:
“Here are all the messages translated for you… First, from the Spirit of the Elephants regarding your desire to move to California:
A giant mama elephant and her herd showed me images and talked to me through them. To make sure you understand (and me), they created the analogy of elephants seeking water and you seeking a place in California. So the wisdom they share is based on that analogy…
In the wilderness, when elephants need to move to a better place, they just go and leave everything behind. Not a single time do they wonder if/when/how they are going to find water. If they did that, they would never leave. Nor would they find water. Because their vibration of uncertainty would lead them nowhere.
Always, their impulse matches their strong desire. We just hold the vibration of the absolute KNOWING that there is water for us. This is what allows the reality of water to enter our life. We know that there is water for us somewhere. So we hold that vibration of absolute certainty. We never let low vibrational thoughts or doubts, or fear, weaken our vibration of certainty.
Instead, we consistently offer a strong, determined, steady vibration to the universe and then we simply let go of the HOW part of the equation. Then we leave that place altogether with the absolute security and peace of mind that the universe will provide and meet us halfway, or guide our feet to the point were reality meets our belief and desire of water.
We go into the unknown, knowing that the universe will provide.
They also said that you need to SHIFT. This was interesting because I received that word in English (not French) over and over again. SHIFT. SHIFT. SHIFT. You need to SHIFT your vibration, shift the way you envision the possibilities. Release expectations and just GO fearlessly and confidently.
By wondering a lot, you crowd your mind energetically with thoughts that do not serve you well. In fact they do quite the opposite. Those thoughts prevent the universe from delivering to you.
Resist the urge to feel secure by trying to control the ways in which the universe shall deliver to you. Instead, be at ease and feel the resonance of harmony within you when you let the universe deal with the details. Rejoice and relax thinking, “Let’s see how you’re going to deliver this time!” Let the universe deal with the details for you.
Whatever you have imagined has already been granted, but right now it cannot find a way to enter your life so it’s queuing up energetically, enough to fill in another entire life time of abundance!
The Elephant herd keep repeating the word SHIFT. They invite you to:
“Kindly hold the vibration that there is already water waiting for you there, and jump into your life with confidence. The path will unfold in front of you when your vibration finally starts to resonate with your desires. You will then begin to attract exactly that which you want. What you attract always resonates with what you vibrate. For there must not be doubt. In order for the gifts of your life to find you, the vibration you offer must be the same as what you wish to attract.”
I then connected with the herd, with their permission, and asked if they wanted to share a message for you.
Kaliah took the lead and came to me with her very unhesitant, strong, confident vibration. She said, you are related. She said you and she are the mirror of each other, at a soul level. You and Kaliah are connected because the nature of your souls is similar.
She identifies with a black erupting volcano. I saw bright red lava flows on the sides of the volcano. Everything was very raw and violent, but not in a negative way. More like the birth of the universe.
Kaliah wants you to know that after lava has burst, lava flows actually dry to form pathways. In order to go to California, you need to first burst like a volcano, without thinking of the consequences. The Lava flows that you create will then become a path for horses and family to follow you there.
The elephants and Kaliah were showing me that you go alone to California, and then everyone follows later.
She said that, “You must buckle up your own personal power and let that raw strength of yours fully extremely burst, like an erupting volcano. Be raw, be fearless, act without caring about consequences. Own your own power.”
She added that currently you are the only one capable of such power. You must be the one who creates that path for yourself, which then will become the path for others. You must burst and go alone, and not fear anything about it.
Kaliah added, “We are here waiting for her to shift. Every one of us. It’s okay. We maintain the energy. We all observe her. We are waiting for her shift.”
Kaliah also repeated several times ‘SHIFT’ specifically in English, “You must move fearlessly in order to create the path. The powerful resonance of your rawness will attract what shall be.”
Kaliah then showed me the eye of an ocean maelstrom, “Jini must move first. Then, by the force of the spinning, she will powerfully attract anything that she wants. And this will increment her power of attraction. There is no strength more powerful than her own.”
After this powerful and blessed message from a person I’d never met before, I knew where the holdup was – the glitch in my ability to focus, without wavering, on what I want. It all went back to six years ago when we first tried to move to California and the door was slammed in our faces. How could I attempt another move without knowing whether it would be successful, or just get blocked again?
Kaliah comes forward
Two days later, I was in the barn with Dr. Juliet and she had just finished a session with Xadaa. We both saw an image of Xadaa falling to the ground during her birth – and that her pelvic issue began there. Ainsley Beauchamp, my daughter Zara, and Juliet have all worked on Xadaa to help her transform her rump from a triangle into a smooth globe.
During the session with Juliet, Kaliah was assisting in her usual powerful way of remaining at a distance physically, whilst energetically being fully present. As we finished, Juliet pointed to Kaliah and said, “Oh look, there’s that Indian woman, the one who was there at Xadaa’s birth.” Singing Wolf – remember her?
Juliet suggested, “Why don’t you ask her about moving to California?”
Interestingly, I didn’t feel good/comfortable connecting directly to Singing Wolf. It’s like she’s not just a spirit, but some combination of spirit + elemental energy. But I said that she could speak to me through Kaliah. It felt right that Kaliah would be her proxy – Kaliah can handle/contain Singing Wolf’s energy and remain balanced, she can get close to the fire without being burned.
So I posed my question: “I can get behind California, but only if I know why the door was closed the last time? I can’t move forward with any kind of conviction until I know why.”
Singing Wolf answered, “This is a question that can only be answered with hindsight. After you go to California and you set up there, then you will know why it couldn’t be done earlier.”
Huh. Well that’s a good enough answer for me, as there have been many times in my life where the reason, or the beauty of the unfolding-of-events has only became clear in retrospect. The other reason I was satisfied with her answer is that it also revealed that I would not be blocked this time – that my energy output would not be for naught.
I cannot possibly comprehend or map out the big, complete plan. So I must break it down into: What is the very next step? The very next step is for me to go to California so I can FEEL for the land. I’m not looking for a family home this time. I’m looking for the location that will work for my bigger vision of the mustangs and elephants – with the nexus point into the ocean.
And no, I don’t need to be able to buy 3,000 acres immediately! I can also break that down into steps. What can I afford right now? Depending on the region, that would be anywhere from 30-100 acres. And again, who knows how much land the animals actually need to be happy/content? I was thinking about elephants in the wild. But what if these elephants have been confined to a cage or small pen for most of their lives? 100 acres is going to feel like paradise!
But first, I need to drive down there again with my hubby and just FEEL for the land, is there any land or region or micro-climate that we set foot on and feel, YES. This is it.
In all the years of looking at land here in BC, neither of us has ever felt a resounding YES. In fact, Kesia emailed this same message to me:
“There is a deep cry I am hearing of a need to be connected and committed to place for The Land to come. Not because it’s convenient, affordable, or even necessarily exactly suitable, but that you are committed to the place, the area, the ecosystem, the PLACE. My land was like these dogs, like Cobra and the wildies – a lot of land is. Owned, traded, used, violated, abandoned. Logged, farmed, extracted from, then left to find its own way back to wholeness with so much taken away. It’s taken years to gain its trust and start truly working together. Years during which I discovered layers and layers and more layers of this place and its particular magic and gifts. I don’t know how else to say it, it’s just ringing in my head. Commitment to place. Connection to place.”
At the same time, the issues of quarantine, travel bans, forced vaccination, and digital tattoos flash across my brain. Where is the place to be, to avoid being marked and vaccinated? If we cannot travel without being marked and vaccinated, where do I want to be marooned for the next decade or two? If this is the beginning of food shortages and other calamities, where do I want to be during all of that? Where do I want to live a completely self-sufficient, off-grid life?
When I envision the daily chores and reality of such a life, there is no question that I want to be in a temperate, sunny climate. I have lived in Kesia’s climate for 15 years (serious winter) and it doesn’t make me feel alive and expansive. I have lived in this Pacific Northwest rainy climate for 25 years, and it doesn’t make me feel vibrant for at least half of the year. I lived in Kenya for the first five years of my life and I don’t have any negative memories of that climate, but perhaps I am different now? So will I feel like my truest most beautiful self, living in California? I don’t know.
I go to grab a rake, to rake up some hay that needs to be dumped in their sleeping area. And as I reach for the rake, in some bizarre way it springs and the broken handle smashes me just underneath my right eye. I feel like even the barn tools are trying to get a message to me. Is it simply a reflection of my current vibration and energetic state? Or is it a message, that I need to make changes, quickly?
Sinking into the truth of the moment, into the truth of myself. I can find ways to be happy here even in the midst of the rain, the mud, the stink. I can gather my loins and carve out pockets of bliss in the rainy, shitty, muddy days. But every time, every day, I have to force myself to get out there, to brave the elements and go to the barn during the winter months. It reminds me of going to the gym to lift weights. I have to trick myself to get there, by saying, it’s OK you can just go to the mats and stretch. And then once I’m there and I do that, I look around me and I say, OK well just some bicep curls then. And then I say, well I’m here so I might as well do my quads, and so on.
And I contrast that form of exercise with my martial arts training. Where I never had to try, or trick myself, into showing up and dripping with sweat for three hours, up to six times a week. Because my body enjoys movement that has a purpose larger than my appearance. My body enjoys movement that allows me to protect myself, or express myself, or perform a thrilling new skill, or accomplish a task (like building a fence) that’s just how I roll.
When I spend three weeks a year in Mexico, or when I have spent weeks in California, or 6 months in Singapore, I never have to force myself to go outside. My body sees the sun and it wants to go outside, it wants to move. you will almost never hear me say, it’s too hot. That’s just how I roll.
I am stockpiling reasons/excuses to justify my desire to live in California. Because part of me doesn’t believe it’s ever going to actually happen. What if I like the ‘idea’ of California, but I won’t actually like the ‘reality’? How can you possibly know what it’s like to live somewhere, until you actually do?
As I sit with big mama, I feel like she is saying to me, we are waiting for you to lead. I then think, ‘So I must spend more time in meditation.’ She lets out a big snort.
If I’m honest with myself, I am looking for the next piece, the next evolution, the next iteration. I am not someone who likes to repeat myself, or go over the same things again and again exploring minutiae, or the same subject from many different angles.
Part of me wonders if I am being flaky, and wanting to move on because I get bored easily and I am not good at routine. So I am just making up excuses to service my own deficiency. And then the other part of me says, it is not a deficiency, it is just how you roll. And viewed from another angle, it is a vital part of what makes you, You. And it is one of your strengths.
The smack from the rake under my right eye has now swelled up a bit and I ask myself, what am I not seeing? What am I refusing to see? Because it is the right side of my body (masculine) it is tied to action.
Perhaps I am refusing to see the truth that I am done with this iteration of my ecosystem, this current arrangement of all the beings under my aegis. And it really is time for the next chapter or expression of what wants to happen. That I need to shift beyond the human-level attachments and love of individuals, and move to the larger perspective; that love is never lost through distance. And if distance is required for me to call this next iteration into existence, then all the beings are waiting for me to shift; waiting for me to lead.
As I prepare to leave, I notice Kaliah deep in meditation facing me, and I am pierced by her energy. I receive the message that I am to call her and Montaro into my next meditation because I need the Yin and Yang, the masculine and feminine, at their level of power, to assist me in the next steps.
The next evening, I light my beautiful lattice lantern candle and I settle into my breath. I invite Montaro and Kaliah into my meditation circle and we breath together. In my mind’s eye, they stand facing me in the big barn with Taro to my left and Kaliah to my right. They come up to me and briefly rest their muzzle in each of my hands; Montaro’s in my left hand and Kaliah’s in my right hand.
We descend into the depths together… and I realize that the HOW is not my business. The WHAT is my business. I finally get it. I am not in charge of the how, or the when (timing) my role is only to stay crystal-clear focused on what I want. If I hold firm to that, then Ian (my hubby), the herd, the universe, can organize all else around me. But I have to hold the center, without wavering, no matter what. Yes, this is essentially the same message the elephants sent me, via Sabine (the horse listener in France).
Then they called my attention to the flame burning inside my Moroccan lantern:
“The beauty and fabulousness of this fire is because it burns within a cage. So don’t look upon your constraints and parameters as limiting, or negative. If this fire burned huge and wide, it would be destructive, terrifying, and you wouldn’t be gazing upon it, enjoying it, appreciating the beauty created by the partnership of the fire and the constraint. Don’t look to eliminate or destroy your constraints; see the essential role they play in the expression of your creation.”
When I felt into things even further, deeper into what I really want, I realized that I no longer want to move to California. What I really want now is to have properties in both locations; here and there. Because that would give me the space to flex and to follow all the aspects of my life (kids, horses, business, aging parents, etc) and the timing of each. The more I mature, the more I value the power of patience, aka timing. It’s not so much a matter of ‘if’, or yes/no, the more important question seems to be: when? And to have the bandwidth to be patient about divine timing; which takes into account all the beings in my herd ecosystem.
Focus on today
The next thing that happened is Kaliah woke me up in the middle of the night to dictate instructions to me. She has done this before – numerous times – so I grab my journal and head for the bathroom. If I write on the toilet it guarantees I will not fall back to sleep in the middle of it! She said to me:
Do not be so concerned with the future. Keep your energy focused on right action today.
Today you get the barn ready for winter.
Today you finish this project.
Today you drive to California.
It will all happen in good time. You have time. Just keep your energy in the present moment. Things are happening quickly now – if your mind is living/focused on the future, you will miss what needs to be done today.
This will also help your nervous system and the roiling in your belly. You are a key part of helping people through this transition and to come to awareness ‘at the last minute’. You are not just meant to hunker down and ride out the mayhem off-grid and apart from the masses. Your physical body can be there. But you are to remain engaged by continuing to deliver our work, continuing to show hope, and a visceral experience of a different reality.
Don’t worry about our safety, leave us to worry about that – we will alert you when you need to act and what to do. You carry the burden for action, but not for discernment. You are listening and you will be guided. And when you are focused more on the present day, you will also spend more time with us – which will also help you.
The very next morning, after I woke up, my husband Ian started chatting with me and delivered the exact same message!
“You know,” he said, “You really just need to focus on what you want, and the next step you need to action today. You’re wasting too much energy thinking about all the what-ifs, trying to anticipate, or second-guess – just let all that go and take care of today.”
The next afternoon, I arrived at the barn and Juliet said to me, “I was listening to this podcast and I heard something that immediately made me think of you. The woman was saying how none of us can know what the future holds, because the future is being hidden from us right now. So the only thing we can do, and that we must do, is to focus on today. What’s right in front of us – what do we need to be, do, action today?
Oh universe/Kaliah/spirit – YES. Message received. And just to make sure I was crystal clear… the universe delivered the exact same message to me THREE times in 48 hours…
“You carry the burden for action, but not for discernment. You are listening and you will be guided. ”
The ki of abundance
Meanwhile, as I am receiving all this information and gaining clarity about my role, my eldest son showed me the real secret to manifesting.
I’ve been watching my son Oscar for the last couple of years as he engages in gambling (casino and online sports betting) off and on, in his free time – because from the age of 10 he understood the ENERGY of money. And I’ve been learning bit by bit as I’ve watched him expand and master the energy of financial abundance. I could write a few pages just on his process/experiments and what I’ve learned from observing him. But while all this was happening in my life, he was suddenly able to succinctly articulate his process to me, and I wrote it all down.
I define abundance as the ability to manifest whatever you want/need, in the moment.
Oscar has given me permission to share his process here, but play close attention, because this is not just about money. It is about abundance; in all aspects of life. Money is the example, the protagonist his story hinges on, but it is not the sole aspect of this process. This process is about manifesting what you want.
I know that gambling makes most people nervous (including me), so I want to assure you that Oscar keeps certain checks on his practice – like only having $100 in his wallet when he goes to the casino, and deleting all his online apps to take a break for weeks at a time. I’ve watched him very closely, because at his age, I would expect him to get in too deep or go off the rails. It’s almost like he knows this and so checks in with me regularly. Of course, he’s also got Montaro keeping an eye on him!
Interestingly, Oscar is very cognizant of how the herd’s energy plays into his money alchemy. Once when I was discussing whether I should send the entire herd inland for the winter, he commented, “Well that will cut my gambling revenue in half.” Apparently, his ability to see the numbers is greatly increased when he’s at the barn.
Oscar: $80 to $4000 in 2 days
“Your energy has to be positive and your mind clear. If you have any negative thoughts, or you bring in any negative energy, you’re screwed, you’ll lose it all.
You have to build up in stages.
You feel for when the energy starts to shift – if you start getting worried (negative) or reckless then you cash out. You leave it, shut down the app. Go do something else.
Three hours later, you feel the energy/idea return – and you’re positive, your mind is clear, ‘ok let’s go make some money.’
So first run I took $80 to $300. Then I cashed out and logged off. Three hours later I was ready to go back in. In two days I made $4000. That’s when I felt, ‘Ok this run is over. Cash out and withdraw the money to my bank account.’ It’s all by energy, it’s all by feel.
But being able to hold that positive energy and clear mind takes practice. I couldn’t have done this when I first started. This is like walking in with $80 in your pocket and you’re facing a monster with a billion dollars in his pocket – who wants to clean you out and take you down.
You have to ignore all that and just focus, and the minute that starts to slip; into hype, or negativity, or anything else, you get out.
You build it step-by-step. You can’t go in there thinking, ‘I’m gonna make $4000.’ You just start and make the first bit. Then leave it, go do something else. Get out in nature – go to the barn. You don’t go back until you feel the energy is right. It’s all about FEELING out what’s gonna happen. If you try to use your brain to think about it, you will always lose. It has to be energy.”
Seriously. As you meditate on this process for the next few weeks, months, and follow it – it will literally shift your entire life/financial/work reality. I can’t believe the ways I’m applying it.
Life is ALL energy, it’s all FEEL. It’s David vs. Goliath – whether you’re facing a political system, or financial lack/distress, or a goal you want to achieve.
You’re the little guy. You’re facing a GIANT with massive resources at his disposal, and he wants to take you down. And you must maintain your vertical, your clear connection/grounding to Source, your clear mind with nothing but positivity. You have to ignore all that angst and just focus – clear mind, positivity.
Then you FEEL for the energy and you action. If you feel the energy, or the clear mind begin to slip, you get out. You take a break. Get out in nature, re-connect yourself with Source. Then you re-engage when you’re clear.
You make a little more headway, you progress a bit further, you get what you want flowing, you feel for what’s gonna happen, for what wants to happen, and you adjust accordingly…. maintaining your clear mind and positivity at all times.
If you start getting worried, or negative, or hyped-up (ego) – you stop. You take a break. Re-connect to Source, get your mind CLEAR again. You build it step-by-step. You don’t begin thinking, ‘that’s it, I’m gonna get this sorted, done-and-dusted lickety split.’ You realize this is a process, and you manifest in stages.
You keep your mind CLEAR and positive and you FEEL for the energy. Don’t use your brain. It has to be energy.
This is exactly the same process Montaro taught me and drilled me on for two years. No matter what he threw at me, I had to remain absolutely clear – in the space of IT IS. He would charge at me in an open field – I had nowhere to run, no stick or anything in my hand. As he thundered toward me, I could hear him saying, “BRING IT. Or you’re going down.”
I had to keep my mind perfectly clear – no doubt, no negativity, no fear. Just crystal clear and grounded into the earth. I had to FEEL for his energy (which preceded his physical body) and receive that energy and flow it around me – with the absolute focus of that IT IS reality, with not one shred of doubt, just fully present/grounded with an absolutely clear mind. And he would veer around me at the last minute.
This level of energy direction is not done by flashing your arms up and down like a whip, or by yelling, or any other aggressive action. It is done silently, or with minimal speaking, with your body mostly still. If your arms move, they move similar to the way arms flow when you’re walking through a swimming pool – slowly, steadily and flowing with the current/pull of the water. Or perhaps there is a small waving of the fingers – not the whole hand, just the fingers. The physical body merely offers a suggestion, the real work here is done energetically; using ki, chi, or prana.
Once I mastered that, then he and Jax would charge me. I would look up and see both of them galloping towards me – nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. And I didn’t trust Jax the way I trusted Montaro, so that upped the ante considerably.
After passing that test a few times, Montaro, Juno and Jax would all charge me at once. I had a split second to think, “You’ve got to be f**king kidding me” and then I had to drop into clear mind and flow their energy around me.
The second time Güliz met Montaro, he charged her. I had a split second to think, “This is interesting…” and then Güliz was stepping back and directing his energy past her. He bucked and kicked out as he veered a sharp left. Since then she’s been charged by a wild stallion out on the range, and an elephant in Indonesia. She stays in that simple clear mind – no room for fear or panic or worry or what-ifs. She is fully centred in the energy of focused THIS MUST HAPPEN – you must flow around me, or to the side.
And it’s the exact same clear mind, the same focused positivity and connection to your rootedness that enables you to negotiate a win-win in a business meeting. Or to define with clarity your heart’s desire – to become clear enough that the universe can conspire to bring it towards you. Then you FEEL for the energy, and you make your move. Feel for the energy again, and make your next move. Action must follow intention. Intention and clarity alone are not enough to manifest your desire. We must co-create our reality!
In my experience, the universe doesn’t want us to have little, tidy desires. The universe wants us to have huge, seemingly impossible, mind-blowingly incredible desires. The universe want us to stretch and grow our creation muscles.
But most of us keep defaulting to ‘possible’ and ‘reasonable’ and then nothing much happens, and we wonder why.
The horses asking me, over and over again, “What do you WANT?” Was not them asking me to define my next step, or the immediate solution to my current problem. That’s small stuff! They were asking me to be David facing Goliath and define what I really, hugely, wildly, awesomely want.
I continued to be so micro, so practical. And they were urging: Pull back, pull waaaaay back to your biggest vision – to the dreams you may not even know you have. From that place, among the stars and light bodies of the cosmos… what do you want?