Continuing on from Part 1… Those of you who have followed the Empowered Mustang saga, will remember that I never intended to bring the new wildies – Kaliah and her herd – here to my already-crowded, rented land in the middle of a city (30 acres pending townhome development). I trusted that the universe would find some land for them, or perhaps I would send them all to Kesia’s farm and pay to fence another 80 acres of her land.
I then decided that since Kaliah and herd have such magical powers of manifestation, that THEY should be the ones to call in our land – using their prodigious magic. I literally said it out loud, I stated firmly my intention that I would not strive (stress!) to find them land, but I would wait for them to bring it to me.
Well two days after I bought/adopted Kaliah’s herdmates, my cousin (who did not know I had acquired a whole new herd) sent me a real estate listing titled, “Magical Fertile Grassland” that was actually in my price range, in one of the areas I like (5 hours drive from my place), in a region of BC called Boundary Country.
I had not really looked at this part of BC before – my research had focused on going more North than directly East, near the USA/Canada border. But the more I looked, the more I liked! I contacted a realtor and began researching. I also discovered an old acquaintance had recently moved her family and horses out to this region. I messaged her on Facebook, and her own research and reasoning confirmed everything I’d been thinking. A week later, one of our fellow horse listeners messaged me on our Facebook page and said, “Hi Jini. Not to interfere with your land calling process but if there’s any way I can be of support I’m game. I saw some nice large holdings on this agent’s page (link to a realtor in Boundary Country!). There’s lots of hay in the area. And it’s a reasonable distance from the Fraser valley for you to get to and retreats etc.”
The only problem was my husband, Ian, was still really not keen on acquiring land. Our health business was in the process of expanding to Australia and the U.K. and we needed every penny to fund that growth. Pulling out cash to buy land at this point seemed an all-round bad idea to him. “Just wait 12-18 months,” he pleaded, “then you can buy whatever you want.”
But. The herd is here NOW. And they are moldering away on a 1/4 acre dirt/mud lot at the Rescue. From ranging wild over hundreds of acres of beautiful wilderness to the equivalent of a P.O.W camp. Their need was most pressing. On the other hand, I had made it clear to Kaliah that I would not take on the stress of getting land for them. I had gone through a terrible, frantically stressful time securing land for my original herd (when I had also gone to get 1 horse and ended up with 3) and I was NOT going to walk that gauntlet again.
And then Kaliah birthed her filly, Xadaa (pronounced: Zayda) and their paddock seemed even more cramped and yucky, I felt so bad that she had no private place to birth, and her newborn foal could not feel grass under her feet, nor rub against a tree. The contrast between her environment and baby Juno’s was so distressing to see. At least she had tree elders outside her paddock, looking over her. Thank god for that.
I knew that if I did manage to buy land within 5 hours drive of my house, that we would not move to that land. My family was settled here, kids were schools they liked and Ian had said repeatedly, “I will never live in the interior! The only direction I’m going is South!” Kaliah and her herd would move to the land and I would visit. So yes, they are part of my tribe – but at a distance and in a different kind of relationship than I first imagined. But one that is no less powerful, nor any less connected. Remember, we are not bound by time and space – we humans forget that, but the animals do not.
I booked with the realtor in Rock Creek (part of Boundary Country) and booked accommodation to stay a couple of nights, so I could l view a bunch of properties and get a feel for the area. Two days before I was due to leave, the entire region flooded, with people row-boating down main street and my accommodation now under 18 inches of water. Ok, trip cancelled.
I tried again a few months later; booked my accommodation, lined up a bunch of ranches to see… and a few days before I was due to leave, the entire region was blanketed in smoke with wildfires raging! People were leaving the area, not driving into it. OKAY – I don’t know what those earlier signs were about, but these signs were stronger and the timing of each was a total CMSU moment (can’t make this shit up). Neither the flood, nor the severity of the fires was normal for this region.
I gave up looking to purchase land for the wildies and discussed the situation with Kesia. She was willing to take the horses if I absolutely needed her to, but she and her mom preferred to have more time to work on their farm and infrastructure, before adding any more animals.
As you know, from the Empowered Mustang series, all 6 horses ended up coming to join my herd of 5 – for a total of 11 horses in a facility that comfortably fit 5 and could stretch to 7. As Montaro said, “It’s going to be very difficult, but if we had more space, we wouldn’t integrate the way we need to. The two herds must become one, for us to do this work.”
Home where I belong
Two years later, we were still on the same leased land (but now with 11 horses), and one of our horse listeners, Claudia Heyer, left this wise comment for me on the blog:
“Your writing about ‘what do you want?’ has been sitting in my interior thinking space. What comes into view is not so much what do you want, as where on this vast mother earth is the space that is meant to be home for you, your family, the horses, elephants and whales; where you all are meant to be planted and that is the place where you are meant to thrive. I wonder about the ownership thing; I want my own land. I imagine you taking off your shoes, those man made insulators, and standing on Her in bare feet intentionally seeking the directions you should be taking. Where She will lead you. I think She might just be waiting for you to open into a new, different world. One of the heart and soul rather than of the mind and what we consider security. I think you have seen glimpses and know just what I am talking about. It is like your conversation about light vs. dark. You ‘know’ but articulating it with our minds and saying it with language is so difficult and elusive. Because it is not of the mind. I wonder at the thought of having to own your own land vs living on land that fills you up and cares for you; land that provides all and is so satisfying to all. There is something about ownership that is inherently wrong; I know you know this as you strive to implement this kind of living with the horses. I believe you are going to find the essence of belonging someplace that is vital and fulfilling. Animals understand they do not own, but they defend their space (their lodge, their territory, their burrow, etc.). Striving means we are struggling against something rather than standing in our rightness and knowing interiorly that we are where we should be.
My space is 1/16th of an acre in a small village in upstate New York. Here I plant seeds, watch the wild life grow their families, listen to the breeze and when I plant my feet in this bit of soil, I am whole. I pray that soon you will plant your feet in that absolutely right place and that you know wholeness too.”
Around the same time, Kesia and I also had a long discussion about how she found her home and knew it was her land. She had never wanted to go so far away from Vancouver, that was not part of her plan of what she wanted. But the second they walked onto the property, her mother burst into tears and Kesia saw generations of their family living and being buried on that land. It was as Claudia wrote:
“What comes into view is not so much what do you want, as where on this vast mother earth is the space that is meant to be home for you… where you all are meant to be planted and that is the place where you are meant to thrive.”
Kesia said, “It was just a knowing that this was HOME.” She asked me if I had ever felt like that?
I was born in Kenya and lived there for 5 years, emigrated to the USA for 2 years, then to Canada for 15 years. I then lived in Japan for two years, London for 3 years and Singapore for 6 months, then back to Canada for the last 26 years. I have also spent about a month every winter in Mexico or Arizona for the last 25 years. And here’s the thing: everywhere I have lived feels like home to me! After living somewhere for a few months, when I leave and then come back, I feel, “Ahhhh SO GOOD to be home.”
Just as I am multi-racial (Indian, English and Russian Jewish) and don’t have any one identity or singular culture, I don’t think I need to just have one home. Whilst I love the sentiment and I understand how deep it runs for some people, it’s just not my reality or desire. If you think about it, for most of world, it’s not even a possibility.
Interestingly, boarding my herd of 11 horses on a piece of land where I can be kicked off at any minute, on a property owned by a guy in Beijing, and slated for townhome development (so every 120 year old Douglas Fir and 80 year old Cedar will be cut down), has taught me the importance of connecting/rooting deeply, even in the face of impending loss/separation.
I remember Kesia saying to me, a year after we’d been on the land, “You know, the land is waiting for you to connect… you might want to see what it wants to share…” And I replied, “Why would I want to do that!? Everything here is going to be bulldozed and destroyed!” I didn’t want to connect, because I didn’t want to feel even greater pain when the elders were massacred and the soil covered in concrete.
But the heart-openness of a life well lived, a life brimming with experiences and creativity, demands that one receive all of life – the love and the pain.
When I finally relented and began my relationship with this land, that’s when the trees, the soil, the fungi and the creatures that caretake the land began teaching me. Those are all lessons for another time – many are in the Apprenticeship program – but as time passed, I began to realize why I was being held on this precarious piece of Gaia, rather than being ‘allowed’ to have my own/secure land.
Some of the biggest teachings came when Juliet joined the matrix – perhaps because she is primarily Earth energy. And the amazing thing is that the techniques and processes this land (working alongside the herd) taught us, can be applied to land everywhere! The horses and the land showed us that when humans create trauma (like battles/massacres) on the land, that trauma gets locked into the land, like an abscess or tumor. It literally makes Gaia sick.
Remember Cobra’s castration – where the trauma put into him by humans needed to be healed by humans? The same dynamic seems to be required for these wounds/traumas humans inflict upon Mother Earth – WE humans also have to heal them.
Five years after we came to this could-be-kicked-off-at-any-time property, I completely understand why we needed to remain here. It was not just Juliet, Guliz and I who needed to work with healing this land, each of the horses has had their role to play in this process. This land means so much to them, and as the trees remove their lifeforce energy in preparation for being cut down, we feel the sorrow of the herd. Last fall an arborist was here for a week tagging every tree for lumber. We shared this news with the land, and over the course of the winter about 30% of the trees in the forest here have already crashed down.
The other message the trees gave us – especially the giant cedars – is that they can travel with us to our new land. Whenever/wherever that may be. Not just by us taking seeds, but they can energetically travel through the mycellium network, and perhaps via other energetic pathways in Gaia, to join us in our new location. All we need to do to facilitate that, is to connect with them, merge/bond with them, and invite them to follow us.
Bring it home
If we know that humans are preparing to cut trees (for any reason) it is very helpful and very much appreciated if we can tell the trees, so they can prepare. This doesn’t have to be a big deal – you can just tell the trees/land as you are driving by in your car and notice a development notice has been put up, for example. Either speak the information out loud, or send them pictures of what will happen – either works well.
The trees can then begin to pull their lifeforce energy out and down into the earth. Of course, this also helps the other creatures on the land know what is happening so they can disperse, move their babies, etc.
Communicating energetically/telepathically with other beings is similar to the way we can work with our guardian angels. Our angels are always there to help us, but there is a lot they can’t do unless we give them permission. This is part of the earth reality; we have freedom of choice. Likewise, if you witness a car accident, you can ask the injured person’s angels to help them. Someone from this 3D reality has to exercise choice, for the full-spectrum of assistance to occur.
Animals and trees appreciate us actively choosing to communicate clearly with them. There’s a huge difference between an animal/tree being able to read your body and your energy, versus you purposely opening up your mind and energy field to connect and exchange information with that being. And likewise, they then have choice as to whether to open fully to connect with you.