Messages from White Wolf Wisdom – The Fierce Feminine

Join me for a stimulating discussion with animal communicator and life coach, Alecia Evans, about the essential lessons she’s learned from working with dogs, horses and wolves. Things like:

  • What’s wrong with treat training or clicker training, based on Chinese Medicine principles
  • The importance of matriarchal leadership in a herd or pack
  • What is the Fierce Female and it’s value in teaching?
  • How the Wild evokes our primal, instinctual knowing.
  • How to be in integrity with your anger: If you respond in anger, you end up attacking the Being; not the behaviour that crossed your boundary.

Alecia and I discuss how these lessons from wild beings; beings still engaged with the primal, illuminate a path forward to greater wholeness for humans. Alecia says:

“As we’re seeing the rise of the feminine on the planet, it is essential that women now understand this inner energetic language of what Fierce actually is, how important it is, and that it connects us to our gut instincts. And how it is simply used to set a clear boundary – it’s not anger, it’s just the clarity that that behaviour is done, that it will not happen again.

It can be shocking, because it is stunning, it is very intense. But if you don’t throw anger at the being and fracture the being (you’re bad, you’re wrong)… because you are so precise with it, it really doesn’t leave a lot of fragments. Anger is a self-feeding loop. Fierce is a very precise energy that the animals use to say: ‘bad behaviour is not tolerated, here’s the rules of the jungle, everybody abides by them’.”

Here’s the video of our (almost 2 hour!) discussion, along with a powerful healing breath technique that Alecia developed through her Wu Ming Qi Gong practice. If you want to jump straight to the breathing technique, start at 1:18 minutes:

If you prefer, you can listen to the audio instead, or download it to your iPhone or mp3 player (great to listen to as you drive!):

Listen To Your Horse
Listen To Your Horse
Messages from White Wolf Wisdom - The Fierce Feminine
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If you have any further questions (or comments) for Alecia or me, just leave them below. Thanks for joining us in the white wolf circle!

 

Messages from White Wolf Wisdom – The Fierce Feminine

14 thoughts on “Messages from White Wolf Wisdom – The Fierce Feminine

  • September 25, 2018 at 1:01 am
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    Where to start….this one is a lot to chew and breathe in and out on….whew.

    A lot I really agree with…I mean so much…and so much I have absorbed and yet probably already really knew..but had not connected in the way as described. Which is one of the things discussed. So many circles and flow. I have such gratitude for all that was presented and talked about. I appreciate connecting and absorbing your opinions on these subjects.

    Regarding the main theme….FIERCE. I have always considered myself extremely fierce. I thrive off my fierceness, and I am so proud of that. I also know every being has there weaknesses and from time to time our low points and sorrow. So there usually seems to be a ying/yang to all emotions.

    I was also proud that my breath was coming from my belly and that felt good to know….especially after hearing the following conversation that came.
    I want to incorporate the rest of the process and see how that affects me?

    I know Alecia was not man bashing…But I also just want to express that as women in our power …we must always remember…that men are not our enemy and we all need to help each other thrive and also learn to be a peaceful spiritual collective. Again we all have strengths and weaknesses and all at different times and in different situations and capacities….

    So let’s encourage and support all these different complexities. Jini your #metoo observation was so spot on for me…what about all the men who are doing the abusing….what do we think they might have endured at some point too? It’s all pain…believe me I am a #metoo….many times over…….but coming from this place…I think we need to focus on healing from the root of it all…..not focus on the blaming…although I also know we have to take responsibility for our actions and when we hurt other beings…there can be consequences for our actions…whether they inherent learned or inflicted on us.

    The part of the discussion I was a bit hung up on…was when we stand in our fierce or have the need to enforce our boundary…as a mare would or a female dog would with there pup or foal…the action has to be sharp and sometimes painful in order for the other to get the point…and sometimes even repeated? When Jini describes the scenario with the teenagers this is something I resonate with….because I too…have went through the experience of raising a son who at one point was a 15,16,17 and then 18 year old male full of all his manhood & male glory. They will continually challenge the boundary and push it and sometimes run flat the fuck over it…regardless of consequences. Just as animals in the wild will continually challenge the leaders to make sure they are fit and also worthy of their trust as their guardian. I guess the part that is a bit contradicting to me is Alecia says if you are presenting your fierce self…there will be no need for consequences…because that energy will be enough….yet we all know animals correct their young harshly sometimes? Even if it is not from a place of anger and just from a place of flow..it still projects pain sometimes …in order to back up that boundary. I guess when I feel this happens with myself and the horses…and then I feel them breathe and relax…I often wonder is it a shut down submission or is it the comfort of feeling that boundary and knowing what is expected…or are they the same thing? Of course this usually does pertain to a human need or desire…but since we are keeping them in this human capacity these things will present themselves mostly in that manner…so where does it begin and end…it doesn’t …it’s just flow. It all gets a bit muddy in my head and gut. I always want to come from a place of soft and sweet and hopefully consistent….towards the horses…but it seems that sometimes the situation needs precise instruction and they get more comfort when I am strong fierce and to the point….which sometimes means getting my way…& controlling them with my energy…. or backing up my physical …with food or a whip…all guided by my connection with the flow and energy…in that moment. I realize this is what the whole conversation is about…again it all just gets a bit jumbled and as you were discussing …it came across to me….as a bit contradicting…in my own head….in a full circle way. Just wondering if anyone else sees it this way…or if I am making any sense at all…to anyone else?

    Kesia once said in one of her podcasts/comments…that humans are natural…so how can anything we do be unnatural? I guess that perplexed me a bit and you could go full circle with that idea also over and over…round and round.

    Again I agree with so much of this…breathing does seem to be a gateway to our inner flow.

    Our intuition and self know…do all seem to be there already it’s just finding that space in-time that the intellect can catch up and process. I absolutely chomp and chew and breathe deep on all of these topics and the thought provoking ideas you ladies present and also some of the ways you word your perspective helps me ponder in a whole new way. I cherish being able to challenge my own thinking and yet stay true to my own thoughts and desires. Authenticity is so important and powerful to me. Unfortunately I do feel I compromise it to fit in with people around me and not isolate myself completely. Modern society as a majority seems so far removed from the primal and from Mother earth herself….myself included. Yet as humans in this modern society we do conform to so many things that harm Mother Earth.

    So for me it always comes back to….we all just do the best we can at the place we are in the moment. Strive each day to learn and evolve…one thing I know in my gut and head is animals will help us every step of the way if we are open to them.

    Reply
    • September 25, 2018 at 4:19 am
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      I agree Michelle – I am always leery of ‘women’s empowerment movements’ and try in all my work to avoid creating a female ghetto. Of course, I realize that some people have a need for this and really enjoy it. But for me, I have always seen everyone as a PERSON, a BEING first. Gender, species, race, etc. all come AFTER that and are not so important to me.

      We took this concept of the Fierce Feminine out to the horses a week or so after this call (and filmed it) and what ensued was both the dogs and the horses commenting on this topic and at one point they pulled in a male cameraman to work on. And then at another point, we did a visualization exercise with some females first, and then 2 of the guys – leading them through connecting to THEIR fierce/divine feminine. Because of course, we are all BOTH. So YES – Hell Yes to that one!

      Regarding your bit about testosterone-charged males, “sometimes run flat the fuck over it…regardless of consequences.” Oh yeah! But think about it – unless you’re being attacked by a male, most women don’t get to “practice” this with men! Unless you’re blessed with young males needing to separate from Mama, challenge the boundaries, and prove their independence (dominance?). AND you also don’t have a dominant male in the house to handle that piece! Then you don’t get to try out these theories and see what sticks.

      I don’t think the horses, or aggressive male humans, want/need soft & sweet. But I believe the challenge here is then NOT to switch to stern, strict, dominance, challenge, pushiness etc. But to stay in that calm, grounded (with the rootedness and strength of a tree elder), rock-solid IT IS place. And your respectful request comes from that place. And yes, as you pointed out, if they refuse, then you follow through with a consequence BUT again, the consequence is not levied in anger, or frustration, or betrayal. Once again, it simply IS. Hoooooweeeee that is the supreme challenge!

      So notice next time your animals who are GOOD leaders/guardians correct each other harshly – there is that FLASH of action/consequence and then Poof! It is gone. They are back to equilibrium energy.

      Which brings me to the next point, not all Beings are evolved/developed to the same degree! So we can’t glamorize “the stallion” or “the female wolf”. Like us, they are all individuals and some are far more powerful, honest, just/fair, than others. There is no other horse in the herd that came close to Montaro’s level of mastery… until Kaliah arrived. And although she hasn’t revealed her true/full self yet… we glimpse it. And Montaro knows it 🙂

      I GREATLY look forward to her teachings and indeed I have already learned something from her that is very pertinent to this discussion… After she arrived – and keep in mind she also had to protect 4-month-old Xadaa at the same time – she would “give” to every horse that asked her to move. HOWEVER the WAY she moved, the energy, pace, body language with which she gave way, transmitted clearly that, “I am not afraid or intimidated by you. I will move because I choose to do so.” So even though she was moved around, by every horse, repeatedly, her respect and power was not diminished. Because SO MUCH is transmitted… so much of the conversation or exchange exists in the quality of energy, the quality of movement. Not whether you move, but how you move. And you could see that this is a being that will bide her time. That has a strength of will that will outlast whatever you throw at her. You can have her body, her movement, her ‘apparent’ submission, but you will never have her core. It was fascinating to watch the other horses perceive this too and the way the quality of their ‘ask’ shifted. Like they were now actors in a play. And Juno, bless him, gave the clearest demo during the gradual herd integration process.

      Juno and Aude asked to be the first 2 horses in with Kaliah the day after she arrived. Juno proceeded to move Kaliah and the others around (while Aude stayed back eating the alfalfa they told me to put out). BUT as he was moving Kaliah, he was making the “baby face”! You know, where they chomp their mouth, flap their gums to signal, “I’m a baby, don’t hurt me.” So he’s plunging in between the River herd and driving them apart, while champing the baby face!! I’ve never seen anything like it. And Kaliah allowed it. At one point she did some pivot maneuvers that showed she was at least twice as fast/lethal as Juno, but she gave every time he asked. So there was no loss of respect. No one watching, for one minute, thought that Juno was the leader, even though his actions were driving all of the herd movement. Aude only intervened once – when she got worried for Juno’s safety. Otherwise she stayed completely out of it. So again, how can we translate that kind of quality of movement, to our interactions with aggressive young men? And also important: It ain’t over till it’s over. Take the urgency/ultimatums out of it. Realize it is a process/journey with these men and each interaction is a chance to do better. To learn how to bring that same IT IS quality of energy/movement into our words, bodies, actions and vibe.

      SO glad you’re here in this space Michelle – and willing to go into the deep xox

      Reply
      • September 27, 2018 at 4:22 am
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        Michelle, I think I know the confusion/round about feeling you mention. Regardless of how anyone says you “should” act, the animals will always know what is authentic and what is put on. In my natural horsemanship lessons, I was told to “up my leadership” and MAKE the horse move – though I had very mixed feelings about this. When I did exactly as I was told, the horses knew I was putting it on and showed me how wiggidy/unconvincing I was. I think this is a common experience for a lot of our readers.

        While it is invaluable to learn how to harness your own ferocity and express it appropriately, it is also essential to be honest in your own body. If you don’t feel fierce and you try to “bring it”, you can end up over-reacting to the point of being cruel or abusive or you can feel like a flailing toddler. Neither is attractive or effective.

        So I think this is a process. A lot of what Allecia describes, like of being without cognitive thought in the moment and acting from that place low in your belly, feels/sounds like Aikido. And I have trained for 14 years without coming close to mastering ferocity!

        As well, my fierce (when it works) is a quiet one. When I am most effective in calming a situation or ending bad behaviour, I am calm and quiet, soft with an iron core. You would miss it if you weren’t tuned in. Same with the horses, wolves and all – they will have different qualities to their fierce. Some are legitimately abusive or heavy-handed (hooved? pawed?), some walk in on a bad scene and the whole thing dissipates without any aggression. And everything in between.

        I think the most important part of what Allecia and Jini discussed was connecting to that hara/belly/root/one point place as much as possible in daily life, so that when it’s time to breathe into it, your body knows what to do to express your pure, authentic, unique ferocity.

        Reply
        • September 27, 2018 at 4:23 am
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          And as for natural/unnatural – it’s a paradox! It never truly makes sense 😂 because nothing ever completely does when you dig down deep enough.

          Reply
  • September 25, 2018 at 3:27 am
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    Thank you Michelle. There are so many powerful aspects you highlighted.

    Reply
  • September 27, 2018 at 4:52 am
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    I got a ton out of this conversation and I don’t even know what I’ll remember now…

    One, is that doing one belly breath before does really seem to help before communicating with the critters. Even if my communication is “off”, the breath seems to help it make sense…if that makes sense.

    Two: I know human women with this ability, men too. Most obviously, my aikido teachers, most especially the head of our Federation who happens to be a small, older Scottish lady with perfect hair. But also the Gitxsan matriarchs I know, and the young ladies they are grooming to take their places. Even in this modern setting with modern and colonized life and all the madness and disconnect we all experience, they have this power to just sink deep into themselves and BRING IT. It is so effing cool, gives me chills.

    As for #metoo, or in other words the reckoning of masculine/feminine imbalance in the form of centuries or more of systemic disrespect and abuse of women… I feel like I have healed and moved through my own particular experiences, and yet something lingers – I think it’s to do with the next piece, where we come together as all genders and lay out what needs healing at the core. This will take ferocity but also immense tenderness. There is a fierce “no”, but also a fierce “yes”, where we agree to being alive, being whole, and creating new ways of existing together. But I do believe most women need to learn that hard “no” first. Staying in that place for too long, however, creates more imbalance and dis-ease.

    And so many other things! Maybe I’ll remember them later 😁

    Reply
    • September 27, 2018 at 5:13 am
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      SO well said Kesia – we need this concept through most (all?) of life; that it is not THIS thing, or THAT thing, but the ability, fluency, grace to MOVE among/between different states/energies as it is necessary, or helpful, or life-enhancing. Because YES:

      “Staying in that [one] place for too long, however, creates more imbalance and dis-ease.”

      Perfect. Love it.

      Reply
      • September 27, 2018 at 5:36 am
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        Yes ladies Fierce is only one aspect of who we are and the tools we have available to us.

        When we observe our horses or any animals the one thing that stands out most to me is how fluid they are with all that they are and they don’t judge themselves or overthink any of what they do. They just live.

        The one thing I observe about us humans myself included is we are often thinking about who we are of who are horses are and why they do what they instead of just being and not trying to figure any of it out. Just feeling experiencing and being our connection with all thAt is and feeling the exquisite grace in that.

        Reply
    • September 27, 2018 at 5:30 am
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      Wow! Wow! Wow! Such powerful information.

      This is such an interesting topic because I see now how much we humans are in a space of intellectually trying to understand an energetic and fully inbodied way of being that the animals don’t think about but just are.

      So when I speak of Fierce I speak of it as a fully bodied state of knowing your self, your power, your truth, your wisdom, your position without a thought attached. It’s just a way of being.

      Now Fierce will look different to each being in how they exhibit it but for me it’s an awareness directly from
      the animals that speaks directly to my cellls with no thought that Fierce is simply an energy that is used to establish clear boundaries. Sometimes it’s a quiet calm stillness, sometimes the volume may need to be turned up because someone is crossing them but this can still come from a still place. It’s simply a raising of energy to the degree needed to have a personal boundary respected. It’s not a constant state of Fierce and I hope Fierce is in no way misinterpreted as angry because it is not that.

      Fierce is a clarity and it is not intellectual it’s solely body oriented. And it arises to establish safety not war or disruption. And in no way shape or form does it ever come from ego. It actually comes from a deep space of humility and full presence. It is not an energy to be thought about.

      It is an energy that will go with our natural flow. Sort of when one dog lifts it lip to simply let the other know do not cross the boundary. It does not need a growl or a nip, it does not ever need to physically touch another, it is simply a statement of you have crossed a line now you need to back up because your behavior is out of line.

      It’s not about dominance or punishment either. Just a simple declaration that a behavior is not balanced anxcpukd harm the group so let’s simply end the behavior. It’s not personal and it’s certainly not arrogant or bullying.

      It’s just a natural state that sometimes emerges and only when needed to keep bad behaviors in check and create more safety and peace for all.

      Think about a mom protecting her baby- she is Fierce with another to keep her baby safe. Sometimes she may need to be fierce with her baby to keep it safe as she teaches them. But Fierce is never angry or malicious or meant out of disrespect or dominance.

      I hope this makes sense.

      Reply
  • October 30, 2018 at 8:41 am
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    Hi Allecia / Jini
    Thank you for this discussion and the breathing technique. It has all been helpful for me in clarifying and refining the kind of energy I need to bring to my 6 year old gelding who is naturally dominant.
    Allecia – the bit about engaging through the vaginal canal feels really important and I can feel the difference between that and my normal belly breath. I wondered if you’ve got any thoughts on where and how that fits in with the heart breathing of HeartMath? This is something I practice as it regulates heart rate variability which also puts the body in the parasympathetic.. I know they are both useful and I sometimes practice heartmath breathing with my horses when we are together in a non doing space, and they respond to it. It’s not an effective technique for setting appropriate boundaries with my dominant teenage gelding when he’s in a boundary pushing mood though. I’d really appreciate some input about how they both fit together and I am hearing that the belly breath needs to be the default for when you need to move in to that fierce place . Slightly confused and curious.

    Reply
  • December 26, 2018 at 6:56 pm
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    Just now had a chance to listen, and wanted to say I really resonate with how you describe leadership from the animals’ perspective. When I got back into horses several years ago I started training in aikido at the same time, and so when I learned the “leadership/dominance” concepts in natural horsemanship, I naturally ran them through my aikido perspective and carried on. (It didn’t occur to me that not everyone had both of these perspectives). The two earliest dominant horses I ever knew, were both mentally sane and the fairest/strongest/wisest horses I’ve ever know. They could say something one time, and it was done. So as I was learning natural horsemanship and aikido I also had these two wonderful horses who I observed regularly to see how they corrected behavior in other horses, or how they looked out for the well-being of the herd. As a result the words leadership and dominance are positive strength and empowering words for me, and not the negative connotations that some people have with them.

    Regarding food and treats in training, I’ve never been a fan, and yet I understand why some people do it and the success they have had. For me, I want more than the result of a treat. I want a connection on the heart/mind/soul level, and that has nothing to do with food. When I leave food out of it, and just focus on breathing, which then allows me to just be, a whole new world opens up, and I’ve found that’s where the horses live, and the more holistic their environment, the more this natural way of being for horse and human comes forth.

    Thank you, Alecia, for sharing your experience. The animals really are the best teachers. I like to say, the humans introduced me to the animals, and then the animals took over teaching the class. The sky really is the limit on what they have to share with us.

    Reply
    • February 26, 2019 at 10:06 am
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      Thank you Mary. Absolutely love your input. You made me realize its time to stop connecting the words leadership and dominance and spelling each out for what they are.

      The sky is the limit on what they can teach us!!!

      Reply
      • February 26, 2019 at 1:54 pm
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        Thank you, Alecia! Yes. I completely agree. The “d” word, dominance has gotten such a work-over that if any article starts to talk about it, I dismiss it because the latest trend is “dominance” is bad. Being a jerk, emotionally insecure and taking it out on the people or animals around us is unkind, and yes, I have a problem with that. But laying down a boundary is how I define dominance. However, I can certainly see that the more popular definition of dominance is being a jerk. Maybe one day language will catch up with the nuances of our human and animal experience and the loaded connotations for various words will have some clarity for better communication.

        Reply

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